#but anyways pls remove from my life anyone who is not right for me
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myli3s · 1 year ago
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god
i asked u to remove 😭😭 not wtv this is
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gay-goth-geek · 2 years ago
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The person I've been seeing...
And like, honestly, I'm not sure whether you can say we've been seeing each other. We've been having hookups. But we also talked, we didn't just go right at it, we could sit for hours just chatting both before and after sex ...
And the sex itself was great I've never had so good and so kinky sex before
But anyway so I'm not in the country at the moment but we've been chatting online and sexting and sending pics and talking about calling next week if/when we both have time at the same time and stuff, and when I left gave me a shirt 'as a reminder, got my perfume and all', and just... We've been in touch??
And like... It's not been me who changed the fucking chat theme to a heart and who's been throwing words like 'my love' around and 'if you don't have a girlfriend when you're back I'm getting you from the airport' and talking about the future asking what I think about places to move to as if we'd still be whatever we are now years from now okay
Anyway
So today in the story a post 'missing my girl... Don't know which one' & 'couldn't have asked for a better night and morning' and like. We've not talked about what we are meaning we are definitely not exclusive and honestly I'm happy with that, because actually I've kissed a girl since then in a club and I definitely not feel like feeling guilty over that or like being in a monogamous relationship at all anyway so that part would be okay with me. Actually a bit of a relief, what with all the clingy behavior before. Honestly, the only reason that kind of upset me is knowing that updates about lots of encounters end up in that story meaning idk whether anything is about me or not? Like, one a few days back said 'some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about' and after our kinky sex I Thought that was about me but now I'm like. Well. I don't fucking know. It was from the day /after or so, so maybe by then it was someone else. Lol. Also makes me think that maybe the pics and vid I got are basically for mass texting all the girls or something, when I've only been sending to one person.
Then
The chat theme removed? Like, the heart themed one? So is our chat not heart theme worthy anymore? You're The One Who Put It There In The First Place pls what is going on
And now I'm being ignored
I wrote a bit of an awkward 'what have you been up to today' after bc I didn feel like mentioning the changed theme?? Like... Idk
Guess I'll see whether I'll have any messages at some point or whether I've just been ghosted huh
Maybe it's nothing and I'm just being dramatic
But I do feel kinda hurt right now
Does it take less than a week to replace me?
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red-writes · 3 years ago
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Career oriented 
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Escort! Bakugou x Reader
Your entire life you've been focused solely on your career, you've sacrificed a lot      of things, people and time to get where you are and it’s paid off, now you're a millionaire who is also a virgin and never had a boyfriend in their life. Your friend recommends you a male escort service. At first you hire him to go on dates and do other things couples do but the relationship develops far beyond what you could've imagined, now you're laying under him begging him to be your first. 
cw: smut, fluff, unprotected sex, reader is a capitalist lmao, I mean reader is a virgin but its not rlly virginity loss bc its not focused around that but reader does lose her virginity, unedited (but what's new)
a/n: I mean we always hear abt sugar daddies, I need rich reader pls also- monoma is a rich bitch y'all can't fight me on this he got that rich bitch mentality.
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The words ‘hard worker’ were understatements when it came to describing you. Pretty much all of your life was spent working, growing your small business with your own two hands. Now money was never an issue. A huge house with several bathrooms, fancy bags and cars, all the things you've ever wanted were now in your possession except maybe one thing. Seeing happy couples holding hands as they walked around in the park, kissing and calling each other pet names, seeing them stirred a feeling of longing inside of you. 
While it’s true that now you'd never want for anything else in your life, you still wanted something money couldn't buy you, love.
 A small tap to your shoulder brought you out of your daze.
“Your eggs are going to get cold..” Todoroki mentioned and you gave him a small smile before prodding your fork in the perfectly scrambled egg. 
“Hey, don't tell me you're thinking about that shareholders meeting this week” Monoma groans and you shake your head.
“Then what is it?” Momo wondered as she wiped her mouth with her napkin. 
“It’s just- you guys all have someone you know romantically” you say as you rest your fork on the plate, deciding that you weren't really in the mood to eat anymore. 
Monoma scoffs, “Yeah barely...I almost broke up with shinso after that last stunt he pulled in the club” 
Momo giggles, “You're still with him?” 
His face dusts pink in embarrassment as he looks away, “A-anyway, why don't you try getting an escort” Monoma recommends and it was your turn for your face to warm. 
“An e-escort?! You do realize who we are right? If someone in here were to hear us talk about such a thing..” Momo whisper-yells and Todoroki’s eyebrow quirks up
“We all know I met Izuku through a sugar daddy website though-”
You clear your throat, “I’m not necessarily looking for you know..sex...just maybe someone to spend time with Monoma” You clarify and he's rummaging through his pockets to find his phone, he fiddles with it before showing you what the site looks like.
“Duh, escorts just get paid for their time not necessarily sex, I’ll send you the link to the website” He tells you and you sigh thoughtfully, if that was really the case then it wouldn't be so wrong to hire some cute eye candy right? 
Momo waves over the waiter, “We’ll have the check please”
“Certainly ma'am” 
+
You sat at your office’s desk with the website pulled up. You'd triple checked to make sure your door was locked, you still had a reputation to uphold as the CEO of your company, you'd be traumatized if one of your employees saw you hiring an escort. 
You scrolled through the many many options of guys. Each profile consisted of a headshot of the escort along with a bio that consisted of maybe a paragraph and . You really couldn't find anyone that suited your tastes personally, until your mouse hovered over a blonde guy. 
His bio was notably shorter than everyone else’s and in his picture he looked mean, eyebrows furrowed and red eyes staring menacingly at you and yet you found yourself clicking the ‘hire!’ button next to his name. Even though he looked like his favorite hobby was stealing candy from a baby, but his looks (as shallow as that may seem) were really speaking to you and the you between your legs if you were honest.
Bakugou Katsuki huh..well he seemed worth a try. 
+
You had been through countless scenarios were you were rightfully terrified. 
Being on a date had to be the scariest out of all of them.
Bakugou was sitting in front of you, he stirred his straw around in his coffee and looked at you while you struggled to contain the rabid beating of your heart in your chest. 
“S-So..What- um..-”
“Just relax” He interrupts, his voice sounded so nice, deep and smooth like a rich dark chocolate. It only manages to make you more nervous. 
“I’m sorry- I haven't actually done this before” you confess with a nervous chuckle, hands gripping your tea cup brutally. 
He gives you this half smile and you're unsure of wether he's actually human or a demi-god at this point. “I can tell, but don't worry there's no reason to be” 
You feel slightly comforted by his words and feel yourself let loose a little, “Okay, Bakugou, what do you like to do?” you ask.
“I like going to the gym” he shrugs, “I’m not really Interesting, I’m more curious about you” he says, he places his elbow on the table and rests his chin in the palm of his hand and leans in to you. His skin is so clear- not a blemish in sight and his eyes are practically burning a hole into your soul.
“M-me? I do nothing too important..I like to sew” you respond, taking a sip of your jasmine tea. You didn't necessarily want to tell him about who you were or what you did just yet, money and status only complicate things. For now, you just wanted to be a normal young woman going out on a date. 
“Come on, don't be shy, I know there's more to you than sewing” He says, removing the straw from his coffee and placing it on a neighboring napkin. 
You bite into your bottom lip, “Well, I honestly don't do much besides work, it’s taken up so much time in my life I can't say I do much else” you admit and Bakugou hums thoughtfully. He doesn't respond for a bit, the sounds of the coffee shop fill the silence instead. 
“Okay, I have an idea” 
You cock your head to the side curiously.
“Let’s ditch the formalities and go have some real fun, I think its about time you lived your life” he proposes and your mouth hands open. Was he serious? He looked it. You couldn't help the giddy feeling that bubbled up within you, a feeling you hadn't felt in a long time, excitement. It made you feel young again. 
“What do you say?”
“Alright!” 
+
The two of you spent all day together, visiting various hidden places around the city, you did shopping and even some sightseeing. For the first time in a while you felt alive, like you were actually a person and not just a unfeeling robot who simply lived to work. 
Your last stop was a park. With a large lake in the center Bakugou suggested you guys feed the birds before heading home. With a handful of birdseed you gently sprinkled some into the water and watched the geese gobble it up.
“When I was five, I had a huge fear of geese..” Bakugou admits and you're chuckling.
“No way, really?” you turned to face him and when you do he’s already looking at you, smiling fondly, eyes filled with an emotion that you really couldn't seem to put your finger on.
“What? Do I have something on my face that you're not telling me about?” You pout and he shakes his head before turning his attention back to the birds as he sprinkles more of the food into the lake. 
“No, just realized somethin’” 
The sun’s beginning to set now, the sky is illuminated by hues of orange and pink. You nudge him with your arm, “Realized what?” 
He turns back to face you, there's an adoring look on his face. 
“You look pretty when you're having fun” 
A look of surprise crosses your features before your ears burn in embarrassment at the sudden compliment, the butterflies in your stomach flutter around more and more the longer you two stare at each other. 
“Thanks” You mumble before looking down at your palm full of birdseed. 
+
Dates with Bakugou become more and more frequent after that. The two of you often meeting up more than you meet up with your regular friends. Bakugou doesn't even charge you anymore, even though you've tried to tell him it was fine he still insisted otherwise. The two of you even exchanged numbers and spoke quite often on the phone. Texts like,
‘this song reminded me of you’ and ‘don't work too hard, idiot’ were often exchanged. 
After maybe a month of this happening you realized that the warm feeling you got in your chest whenever Bakugou brushed your hair into place or stopped to tie your shoe for you or even when he texted you good morning wasn't because you appreciated him being a good friend, you liked him. It took a month to finally decipher your feelings for him but once you did..what the heck were you supposed to do now?
Never once in your life had you confessed to someone let alone dated them, what would happen to your friendship with Bakugou if things didn't work out? You didn't want to stop being friends with him, you loved being with him, he was the reason you finally started taking breaks and learned to relax. 
You had a ton of questions to answer for yourself but you couldn't do it right now, you had a date with Bakugou. He told you to dress up and you weren't sure where you were going but you trusted him to take you somewhere you'd enjoy. Around 8pm like promised, he was there to pick you up. His car was fairly nice, you assumed his high pay rates were being used for something but now you know what. He was wearing a black three piece suit, it was crisp and you could clearly tell it was expensive, his hair was slicked back and he had a single diamond stud in his left ear. He looked damn good. It was making you a little nervous about how fancy this place actually was. 
The drive to dinner was unusually quiet. Bakugou typically did most of the conversations with you seeing as you were mostly an awkward sausage but tonight was different, he had a stern look on his face and you felt a little worried. Bakugou noticed your nervous look in the rearview mirror and without skipping a beat placed his hand gently upon your thigh and gave it a small squeeze, this thumb moved back and forth in a soothing manner. All without taking his eyes off the road. 
You felt a shiver run up your spine and you bit your lip from potentially making any noise, you turned your head to face the window to prevent him from seeing the look on your face. 
+
Bakugou was right about the restaurant being fancy. The place was full of people you could recognize, everyone from business moguls to celebrities, it was almost a little intimidating but you knew probably how tough it was for Bakugou to even get a table reserved at this place so you decided to instead choke down any kindlings of anxiety and replace it with a gratefulness for his hard work.
You swirled the champagne around in your glass while Bakugou took a bite out of his steak, the atmosphere between you two was a little awkward and it hadn't been like this since the two of you met it was a little alarming. 
“Is something wrong..?” you ask after gently resting the glass back on the table, he wipes his mouth with his napkin and sighs.
“I’m sorry that- I seem so weird tonight” he apologizes and you shake your head.
“No no don't worry about it, I’m just worried something bad happened” you tell him, you lean forward and place your hand on his. His fingers lace themselves with yours and for a moment it feels like its just the two of you in the restaurant together. 
“Nothing bad, actually something good” he explains and you're giving him a small smile
“Something good?” you question and he leans in even closer to you.
“I mean, ever since I started hanging out with you I feel like my life's changed, I’m not one to be super cheesy but I just- fuck..I like you” his face is turning a light pink and in a moment of courage you close the small distance between the two of you and press your lips against his. He immediately reciprocates the kiss, his hand sneaks up your forearm and settles on your elbow using it to pull you in closer. 
When the kiss finally breaks the two of you are a panting mess, then you hear the waiter clear his throat and Bakugou uses his thumb to wipe the lipstick from the corner of his lips.
“Check, please”
+
Upon entering your home, there wasn't much speaking. Your arms were wrapped around his neck as his hands fumbled with the zipper on the back of your dress. The two of you blindly walked backwards until you tripped backwards onto the couch. Bakugou completely stripped you of your dress and  laid it across the back of the couch, your hands made quick work of his pants unbuttoning and unzipping them, he kicked them off eagerly uncaring of where the fabric was strewn. He cupped your cheek and continued to kiss you as he helped you wiggle out of your underwear. He sucked in a breath at feeling how wet you already were.  He ran a finger up and down your slit before gently nudging a finger inside. 
The sensation was foreign, it felt odd at first but the more he kept twisting and thrusting the finger inside of you the better it began to feel. He slid in another one and began making a scissor motion inside of you. Your hips raised off the cushions of the couch, you moaned into the kiss and eventually he pulled away from it, instead opting to kiss the skin of your neck. Your moans along with the wet sounds of his fingers fingering you open filled the space. It felt good, you could feel the knots in your stomach threaten to untangle the harder his fingers fucked themselves into you. 
His movements slowly came to a halt and he slid his fingers out. Your eyes clouded with tears and your legs were shaking, disappointed that he stopped when you were so close. He pulled his cock from his underwear and began stroking it over you.
“Ready?” He asks as he grinds his cock against your twitching entrance and you're gripping his shoulder before he makes another move. 
“A-actually..please just be gentle its-i’ve never done this before” you confess and his eyes widen for once, taken aback by your sudden profession. He gives you a small nod, “Promise.”
With one smooth stroke he bottoms out within you. Your back is arching off the couch as your mouth hangs open in a silent cry. The feeling is an addicting mix of pain and pleasure that has the tears you were holding in begin to roll down your cheeks, Bakugou gently kisses them away and uses his fingers to wipe away the stray tears. For a while, you're simply holding each other, bakugou whispers words of comfort in your ears while you slowly familiarize yourself with having him inside of you. 
When Bakugou feels your hips begin to move against his, he takes that as his sign to begin moving. His thrusts start shallow, hips just barely touching yours as he doesn't want to hurt you and you quickly become frustrated with his kindness. Your legs wrap around his waist and pull him closer to you, forcing him to bottom out inside you again. You whine his name and he shakes his head. 
“And here I was trying to be considerate” he huffs out, you grip his tie and pull him down and press a gentle kiss against his lips. 
“I didn't ask you to take it easy on me” you remind him and he scoffs
“You asked for this”
You're suddenly flipped onto your stomach and he raises your hips in the air, he pulls himself all the way out of you until the head of his cock is the only thing you can still feel inside of you, he rams his cock back into you and you're gripping the couch for dear life. His hips are ruthless, lewd slapping noises fill the room as the head of his cock kisses your cervix with every thrust. His heavy balls  greet your clit with an unceremonious slap. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, you can't think of anything else except Bakugou. You'd been completely fucked dumb on your first time. 
You feel Bakugou’s fingers lace into your hair and grip the roots before pulling at them and forcing your head back. A jolt of pleasure flows through your body as his cock pushes up against your g-spot, your legs and kicking around behind you.
“No! cum-cumming kats I-” you can hardly finish your own sentence due to how hard your orgasm hits you, your body his shaking as bakugou releases your hair and uses his free hand to grip your waist as he desperately humps you, chasing his own release. Your cunt spasms around him in overstimulation, Katsuki only curses under his breath as you squeeze down on him, your cunt clamps down on his cock as you're brought to your second orgasm and his movements finally begin to slow and an unfamiliar warm fills your tummy. 
He doesn't pull out right away. Instead he gently lays you backwards onto his chest and you snuggle into his chest. 
He whistles, “Nice place”
“Pfft- don't try to make small talk with me after you just finished banging me” you giggle sleepily.
“Fair enough, still, I’m curious about how you can even afford this place” he wonders, hand rubbing up and down your back, only easing you closer to falling asleep.
“Hard work” you reply he takes your hand in his and kisses the back of it. 
“That’s my hard working girl” 
you feel the butterflies swarm around your stomach all over again at his small comment. 
“Does this mean we're dating now?” you ask and he gives you a little chuckle.
“Yes, if you want” 
“Good then you're my boyfriend” your eyes are fluttering closed at this point, you merely nuzzle into his chest and he plants a gentle kiss on your forehead. 
“Goodnight love” 
“Night Kats..”
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baecvlt · 4 years ago
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Hello hello! I looove your work! I was wondering if I could requests Kazuichi taking his best friend(or lover! Just thought friend would make it more interesting) on a late night car ride to test some adjustments he made to it, could end up with some steamy car sex? Hopefully this made sense! I've been craving this kind of fic
Car Sex: Kazuichi Soda x Reader
a/n: It’d be an honor to write this. Hope you enjoy! ALso VERY WELL ESTABLISHED FRIENDSHIP HERE + projecting my interests onto reader because I get selfish AND I feel like Kaz listens to rock/alt/indie music. K byeee. ALSO READER IS FEM, pls specify next time
It was a Friday night, you were out for dinner with your best friend, Kazuichi Soda. You were glad to finally get out the house. It got lonely, plus you got to catch up with him and see him personally. He offered to pay for your meal, you allowed it since this time you were tight on money. As he paid, you notice he was excited about something.
“I know this is so last minute,” he began,“But I was wondering if you’d come back to the shop with me”
You nodded, but remained curious. “Of course, I’ll go, but why?”. He leaned toward you and he was excited. His leg was shaking and hands slightly shaking. “I’m finally finished with my car!,” he cheered,“I want you to be the very first to join me for a test drive!”. You smiled. Kazuichi had been working on this car since high school. He almost gave up on it too, so you were happy he never gave up on it. “Of course I’ll go!,” you told him, just as cheerful as he was. You both has walked to the restaurant, now walked back to the shop.
His family was there, closing the shop up. You obviously greeted them. He walked right past them and to the garage. A sheet was on top of the car. Once you were in the room, he walked towards it. He grabbed the sheet, doing a small countdown. “3..2..1-”. He yanked the sheets off, revealing a new and improved car. “So, what do ya think?”. You were excited with him now. “Jesus, the paint job on this is amazing!,” you said to him. “‘May have taken me my whole high school and half my college experience to finish it, but it was worth it!”.
“Totally”
“What do ya say? Should we take it out for a spin”
“You don’t have to ask me twice”
He cheered quietly, opening the passenger door for you and hopping into the driver’s side. He opened the garage door, pulling out of the driveway. He had only driven down the street and you saw how nervous he was. You grabbed his hand, he gasped when you did. “Hey, I’m sure the car is fine, don’t stress out”. He smiled, putting his arm around you. You relaxed laying back. You drove around for about half an hour, going up some hill to a mountain. “Where are we going?,” you asked him.
“We’re gonna look at the stars”
“Ooo, nice”
He parked by the edge of the mountain. It was weird because no other cars were to be seen. Usually there were. “By the way, I wanna show you the coolest thing here,” he said, opening the glove compartment. He took out a CD, Slowdive's 1993 album Souvlaki, and revealed he had a working stereo. "Holy shit, it works?," you were excited. He nodded, popping in the CD. "I love Slowdive," you mumbled. He smiled, chuckling a little.
"I know. You were listening to it the day we met"
"Oh! I was...Yeah, I remember you came up to me that day. You were so awkward"
"Right? God, I feel like I acted like a douche"
"You were like,'Hey, we shouldn't be able to hear your music'"
"Yeah, yeah. Then you were all,'Oh, sorry!'. Then, I was like,'Don't worry, but anyway, Slowdive, huh?'"
You both laughed. "God, I felt that you were trying to hit on me that moment," You told him,"But you're just...you're really nice". Smiling, he shook his head. "Do you miss high school?," he asked. You thought about it for a moment. Did you? "You know what," you began,"Partially". He was confused. "What do you mean?".
"Well, we all had good times in high school. We had good friends, all those memories. We've kinda drifted away, but that's why I partially miss it"
"So why don't you?"
"I felt like I didn't belong"
He looked at you sympathetically. "You all had an established talent. I didn't," you told him,"Sometimes, I still wish I hadn't gone". Hearing you say so saddened him. "But you're good at a lot," he said,"You were better than everyone there". "You're just saying--".
"No! I swear, you are talented at a lot. It was just never put into one thing. You aren't alone either. Hajime never had an exact talent, Nagito won a lottery...you belonged there just as anybody else. You are a Jack of All Trades—"
"—Master of None."
"NO! You are the master of all!"
You smiled. "I care so much about you. I'm really glad we met. I just know that if we hadn't met my life wouldn't be the way it is now...," he said,"So, please, never say that again! You belonged there". You lay back in your seat, trying not to cry. For the first time in forever you felt like you had a place in the world, it felt weird, but not bad. You weren't used to feeling important. "Are you even happy with your life?". He looked at his thumbs when you asked him that. You were afraid of his answer, you didn't know why, but you were.
"There are somethings I wish I didn't have to deal with, but when I think about you, I realize that it's all worth dealing with...and that makes me the happiest man in the world"
"Kaz..."
He said your name, his voice low when he did. It interrupted anything you wanted to say next and your thoughts were racing. "I..I—". He sighed. You knew whatever he had to say next was not easy for him to spit out. "You know how important this car is was for me, it took up my entire high school year to work on. I know I had fun doing it, but I didn’t build it for me,” he sputtered and you could tell he was nervous,“I made this car so that...so that I'd have something to impress you with the day I had the courage to tell you how I really feel about you. I love you and I have for so long. I don't see myself being with anyone else and I wanted you to think of me as the coolest guy you'd ever met and now you probably think I'm a chump–"
You launched yourself towards him, attacking his lips and you felt his skin radiating. He felt as if he had been kissed by an angel. "I love you too, Kaz," you whispered. You really did. Crawling onto his lap, you pushed his hair back. "I wish it hadn't taken you so long to tell me," you added, frowning,"We could have done all these cute high school couple things, then moved onto adult couple things". He kissed you this time, his hands on your hips as you nibbled his bottom lip. He managed to move you both to the passenger side in order to prevent your back setting the horn off. He stopped for a minute.
"'Adult couple things'?"
"Yeah"
"Well, we're adults now, aren't we? And who says we're too old to do what high schoolers do"
"You're not wrong either...but are you interested in doing adult things with me?"
He blushed and looked away for a minute,"I, uh- I've never done it before. I was waiting do it with someone who loves me, y'know? But- you love me, right?". You laughed, nodding. He laughed too, shaking his head as he reached up your skirt, his calloused and rough hands rubbing your thighs. "Hoh-okay, you asked for it". He leaned forwards to kiss you, grabbing the waistband of your panties as his tongue entered your mouth. He pulled them down, allowing you to remove the rest by making his seat go further back. You kicked them off, going to unzip his jeans and pull those down too along with his boxers. He was already rock hard and made you throb just looking as his cock. It was slightly above average in both length and girth, but what did you expect from a dork like him?
You took off your entire skirt before climbing right back into his lap right after pulling them down, he smirked and lowly praised you: "Good girl". He kissed you a little more before he grabbed his cock, ready to guide it inside you. "You ready?". You were shaking, but uttered a soft,"Yes...". Before he could, the Slowdive song you were listening to when you first met started playing and you knew this was meant to happen. You melted when he heard it too. It means it meant something to him and it meant as much to him as it meant to you. "You remember this song, baby?". He pressed light kisses on your forehead as you nodded. You felt his tip at your entrance and you whined. "W-Wait! Kaz, please be careful," you begged. He nodded and kissed you again. "I'll be soft," he reassured you,"Besides, I want to take my time with you. Okay?". You took a breath and relaxed.
"Okay"
"Uh, wait- I should probably ask. Did you wanna do this laying down? I don't think it's fair if you're on top during our first. Plus, I don't want your back to hurt"
"Y-Yeah, my back was starting to ache a little"
He nodded, putting the seat all the way back, now mimicking a bed. You switched positions, spreading your legs for him. He put the volume on the stereo almost all the way up before picking your legs up. He positioned himself again, pushing in just the tip. You gasped quietly, breaking into a very sweet moan as he pushed in all the way, groaning lustfully. He repeatedly pushed in: deep, but slow. He only felt his erection grow harder seeing you blush. Your little moans and soft whimpers when he'd hit that one spot you thought only you would be able to reach made him twitch inside you. He tried to keep his composure, but your walls constantly pumping him made it almost impossible. He leaned forward, desperately trying to kiss you. You could've melted right then and there, seeing how this man made love to you. "I-I love you..," he whispered against your lips. God, he was so cute too.
"I love you too, Kaz, but this is a little too slow now"
"Please, tell me what you need"
"I want you fuck me harder"
"Whatever you say, princess"
His thrusts went from "slow and deep" to "abrupt and very deep". "Like that?". You kissed him in response, grabbing his hair and pushing his head to you. His hips snapped inside you, making it harder to control your breathing. At this point, the windows as fogged up, making the air around you hot. He grabbed your breast, massaging them. You did him the favor of unbuttoning your blouse. You grabbing his hand and slipped it under your bra. "They're so pretty and warm," he mumbled. You could tell he didn't want you to hear that from how low he said it, but you heard it well. He pulled your bra down to your torso, ducking his head down to be able to suck on your breasts a little. "K-Kaz! I'm really sensitive there!". He didn't respond, so entertained by your boobs, knowing playing with them made you feel good.
Your stomach was in knots and it was hard to hold anything anymore.
It took one really hard thrust, making you squirt. He didn't even know it could do that. You didn't cum all the way through, making it uncomfortable now. You felt like you were being edged. "Kaz, it doesn't feel good anymore".
"Do we stop?"
"No, no! Just...I need to cum"
"I'll get you there"
His hands went back to your hips, slamming into you fast and deep. Your body trembled, shaking as he hit your sweet spot again and again and again. "Is this okay?," his voice husky as he was nearing his orgasm too. You nodded, whining. "I-It feel so good..please don't stop," you cried,"It's so good!..". He went faster, grunting softly. You were near crying, about to release. "Are you gonna cum?". He was just as impatient as you were.
"I'm cumming, I-I'm cumming"
"I can't last anymore. C-Can I cum inside?"
"Please, baby"
He groaned you name, shooting his load in you. You knew it was a lot too, feeling it when you moved. He pulled out, laying on the other seat lazily. You were still so turned on, pumping your two fingers in and out of you, securing his cum inside you. "Good girl". You picked your braw up to cover your chest since it was getting cold. "You look so pretty," he added. You were blushing as he helped you with your clothes. Naturally, you helped him with his. "I hope this is a good time to ask, but...". "Yes?"
"I want you to be my girlfriend"
"I'm so glad you do. Yes, Kazuichi, I'll be your girlfriend!"
"Yes! Fuck Yes! Oh god, I'm so happy!"
You kissed his cheek, making him become even more giddy as he wrapped his arm around you and drove you to his home. Kissing on his bed, he hugged you tightly afterward as you shushed him to sleep.
235 notes · View notes
imaginedisish · 4 years ago
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Feels Like We Only Go Backwards (Tenet) Neil x Reader
A/N: Hey there guys!!! I’m back...again ahhhhh. I’ve been gone for a while (I always am) but hopefully I’ll be back for a while now :) I hope you’re all staying safe and doing well. I know the world is ass, but hopefully things will be better soon. Anyway, I’m obsessed with Tenet right now and I decided that I had to write a Neil x Reader one shot (I love Robert Pattinson, it’s a problem) Also, I think this is my longest fic yet...if someone wants to let me know how to do the “keep reading” thing, please tell me omg. I’m so sorry to those who have to scroll through this. Hopefully I can change that. Anyway folks, ENJOY!!!
p.s pls request tenet stuff. gimme some smut to write.
Summary: You allow your feelings for Neil to get in the way, causing you to compromise the mission and put everyone in danger. (AU, obviously because of the reader insert, and also because this particular scene does not actually happen in the movie).  ~loosely based off “Feels Like We Only Go Backwards” by Tame Impala~
Warnings: Violence, mentions of death, guns, blood, wounds, cursing, angst, possibly implications of being “lovers (or friends with benefits)” and luckily fluff :) 
Word Count: 4,163 (Please fucking teach me how to add the “read more” thing holy shit)
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You storm down the cold, grey, skinny hallway lit with dimmed fluorescents. There was something inexplicably chilling about this place, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on exactly what that thing was. Maybe it was the way the lights reflected against the walls, glowing subtly against the tiles. It wasn’t a pretty glow. It was the glow one could expect to see along the walls of a morgue. 
Maybe it was the peculiar, dull ringing that followed you down the corridor, haunting your every step. Maybe it was the simple sound of your heels clicking against the concrete floors, and the idea that those clacks could call someone to your very location and leave you absolutely defenseless. Maybe it was the fact that you only had two bullets left in your glock. 
Or, it was because he wasn’t with you anymore. 
You quickly shake off the thought that he, of all people, could make you feel better. You didn’t need him. Hell, you didn’t need anyone, you thought to yourself. But still, your mind kept circling back to the image of him popping up in front of you, taking your hand and leading you away to- 
You cut yourself off. You couldn’t let your mind wonder for that long, especially about Neil. Still, you can’t help but flash back to just minutes ago, when Neil was by your side, when you made the massive mistake of letting your feelings get away of the mission. 
Neil pulled you down the hall, his hand firmly clasped around the upper part of your right arm. He was practically dragging you with him since you couldn’t keep up with his speed. 
Finally, Neil yanks you into an alcove, hoping you two can hide for at least a few minutes before running again. 
“Neil you need to give me an answer, what the fuck is-,” Suddenly, Neil pushes you against the wall, his right hand presses hard on your hip while his left hand covers your mouth. His face is in yours. Any personal space between you two is non-existent. He’s so close that you can feel his breath on your nose. He’s so close that you can feel wisps of his dirty blonde hair dance across your forehead. 
He smirks, “No time for answers.” You felt a twinge in your stomach, like butterflies, or maybe something much more gross, because now was not the time for Neil to make you feel this sort of way. 
The worst part is that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He carefully selects each and every movement he makes. He removes his hand from your mouth and places it at the nape of your neck instead, his thumb brushing lightly just below your hairline. 
You stifle a quiet moan at his touch. “N-Neil, what are you doing?” Your voice is quiet, but shaky. 
“Keeping you calm, I can tell you’re about to lose it,” He says matter-of-factly. Of course that’s the only reason, there’s nothing romantic here, and there never will be. 
‘Neil will never feel the way I feel about him’ you think to yourself. You can’t help but get a bit angry at his ability to put you under his spell. Despite your heart racing, despite your brain being bent out of shape by the close proximity of Neil, you can’t help but feel calmer. And you hated that. You were too stubborn for your own good. 
He breaks the silence, “Are you alright? I figured you’d have something to say. You said you wanted to talk to me before, didn’t you?” 
Before…when you had planned on telling him how you felt. You were going to tell him before.  Before the mission escalated past the point of return. Before you had ruined everything. Before Neil risked his life to bring you to safety. You had fucked up this time, insurmountably. It wasn’t entirely your fault, but you didn’t make it much better. 
Neil blew the entire team’s cover all to save you. You forgot the script, all because you were far too concerned with how you were going to handle your feelings for Neil. It wasn’t just any mission, either. It had to do with Sator’s henchmen. This was Tenet’s way in. This was how you could get more information. This was how you could save the world. 
And yet, you brought it all down. Somehow, Sator’s men believed that you were the only spy, and that everyone else was legitimate. They were going to kill you and spare the others, but Neil practically threw you out of the room and down the hall before anything could happen. The second he grabbed you, gun shots erupted. Now you had to pay for it, hiding in a barely-lit, cold hallway, with Sator creeping somewhere close behind, ready to attack. 
Suddenly, the guilt began to overwhelm you. What if this was it, what if you would be the reason Neil would die? What if your actions destroy the mission all together? Tears free themselves from your eyes, sliding slowly down your cheeks. 
“Hey,” Neil whispers as he moves the hand that rested on your neck up to your left cheek. He wipes away a few tears with his thumb. “It’s alright. We’re going to be fine, don’t worry-,”
Before he can get another word out, you grab his hand. “Stop, please, just stop,” You plead, unable to take anymore. He has to know what he’s doing to you, he just has to, you think, as your sadness slowly turns to anger. It irritated you that he was able to swoop in and save your day. It irritated you that he was able to touch you and comfort you, despite the lack of relationship that you desperately wanted fulfilled more than anything. None of this was fair. It wasn’t fair that he could be this non-nonchalant while you were practically doubled over with butterflies and other real anxieties from the situation you were currently in. 
Neil looks a bit more annoyed now. “I’m just trying to help,” He says, his eyes staring deeply into yours. Those eyes, you could drown in them if you weren’t careful, so you snap back into reality, allowing yourself to feed into your anger. 
“Maybe I don’t need your help,” You say, instantly regretting the words as they leave your lips. 
The corners of Neil’s mouth turn up slightly, his cocky attitude showing yet again. “So back there, earlier,” He gestures backwards, to the past, “You didn’t need my help?” 
You shake your head, “I’m just sick of this.”
Neil’s smile fades away as a confused look finds itself on his face. “Of what?” There’s a sadness in his voice. “Us?” 
His use of“Us” immediately takes you back. ‘What the fuck does he mean by “Us”?’ You ask yourself. You were undeniably close, but he never confirmed or denied his feelings for you.
Your stomach does a back flip before you allow yourself to grow angry again. 
“There is no ‘Us’, and that’s the problem Neil,” You say, pushing him off of you. He stumbles out of the alcove and rushes back in, closing the space between you and him once again. 
Neil gives you a puzzled look.“Bloody hell,” you hear him mumble under his breath. “What the fuck are you talking?” There’s a seriousness in his voice now. His cocky facade disappears into nothingness. He’s frustrated, and it’s all because of you. 
You just couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to say it. 
“Don’t act like you don’t know how I feel.” Your voice is louder now, and it seems as though you’re practically begging to give away your hiding spot. “Neil I-,”
He covers your mouth with his left hand once again. “Alright that’s it,” His voice is still quiet, “You’re the one that needs to stop now. You don’t know how much I-,” 
You push him into the wall before he can get a word out, just as he had interrupted you seconds ago. 
You step out into the hallway. “I don’t know what? How much you don’t care about me?” You notice the sudden pain in Neil’s face. You didn’t expect that, but you also refuse to believe it’s real. “I don’t need you, Neil. I never have and I never will.” 
You begin walking down the hallway as Neil whisper shouts your name, trying to get you to come back without blowing your cover. 
“(Y/N)! Please!” He calls out. 
A hand on your shoulder brings you back to reality and stops you dead in your tracks, “(Y/L/N), I’ve been waiting to meet you.” It’s a familiar voice, a voice you’ve heard before. It’s bitter, callous and malignant. A chill runs up your spine as the name of the voice dawns on you. You flinch, quickly stepping backwards and spinning around to look at the devil-man in front of you. Although, you know he would prefer if you referred to him as a god. 
“Sator,” You curse, spitting on the ground disrespectfully. You brandish your gun, trying to put on your best fake-confident face. Sator doesn’t know you only have two bullets left, and quite frankly he doesn’t need to, you think to yourself. 
Before you can even aim, Sator launches towards you. 
You jump back, and turn around to run. There’s no way you could get away from him in what you were wearing. Your black kitten heals slowed you down a great deal. Your tight, black dress made it hard for you to move in any way at all. 
Sator is right behind you. You kick off your heels, allowing you to speed up a bit. While running barefoot is much better, you know you can’t last forever. You run for a few more seconds before realizing that Sator is only getting closer. 
You turn around, back peddling now. You hold your glock up and aim. 
BANG! 
The bullet misses Sator and ricochets off the tiled wall. What the fuck? You think to yourself as the bullet falls to the ground. The walls must be bullet proof or something. 
Sator is almost within an arm’s reach of you. You lift your gun again and take aim. 
BANG!
But it’s no use. you miss again. This time, the bullet hits such an angle that it comes back straight towards you. It grazes against your left side. 
“FUCK!” You cry out in pain, stumbling a bit. You try your best to continue running, but the pain is far too great to keep going. You feel your legs starting to give out. You crumble to the ground, letting a small whimper of pain escape your lips. You grab your side, blood draining into your hands and onto the floor. 
Sator chuckles maliciously. “You seriously thought you could get away? This is my place. You’re playing in my world,” He shakes his head and reaches for his gun. He points the weapon directly at your head,
“And just so you know, I’m God here.” 
Tears form in your eyes as you hear the gun cock. You brace yourself for impact as your thoughts find their way back to Neil. You hate how you left things, especially considering that would be the last conversation he ever had with you. Guilt began to grow heavy in your stomach. 
What a way to die, totally and completely guilty, a failure, and alone, You think to yourself, as tears fall down your cheeks.
Sator chuckles again. “Crying are we know? Too late for tears, (Y/N). I think you’re all out of time.” You shudder at his words and you prepare for this moment to be your last, shutting your eyes tightly. 
“No! (Y/N)!” A familiar voice cries out from behind you. 
BANG!
You open your eyes to see Sator standing in his place, the gun now pointing above your head. You look down and see a single bullet right next to you. It must have ricochetted off the wall, just like yours did. But where did it come from? You think. 
Turning around slowly, you spot who Sator is pointing his gun towards.
“N-Neil,” You stutter, wincing in pain simply from talking. His gun points back at Sator. His eyes nervously look you up and down. This was far different from when the evening started. You remembered the way Neil looked at you when you had finished getting ready. You remember how he knocked on the door to your hotel room and let himself in. He didn’t wait for you to give him the okay. 
“Wow,” Neil said, taken back by your tight, little black dress. He looked you up and down, seemingly removing each article of clothing in his head. “You look incredible.” 
You missed that moment now. You wish you could just go back. But now you were faced with reality, with a gun in your face. 
Sator looks down at you, and back up to Neil. “I think I’ll let you watch her die, and only after you watch her take her last breath, I’ll kill you too. How’s that?”
“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Neil states confidently. You look up at him, confused. 
Just as Sator pulls the trigger, Neil grabs your arm and slides you out of the way. 
In the near distance, just a short ways behind Sator, you see a fiery cloud of orange erupt, followed by a massive boom. Neil somehow was able to orchestrate some sort of explosion.
Sator stops in his tracks and turns to look behind him, giving Neil just enough time to pick you up and run down the hallway, turning down a series of other corridors in an attempt to outrun Sator. 
It isn’t long before Neil realizes that you’re bleeding onto him. “H-holy shit,” He looks down to your left side. “I need to get you out of here.” 
You ignore what he’s saying. “Why did you come back for me?” You whisper to Neil. 
He steals a quick look at you as he continues to run down the hallway, but he doesn’t answer your question. 
You clear your throat and try again. “Why did you come back?” 
He ignores you again as you approach an intersection of 3 hallways, each one looking the exact same as the one you’re currently in. Neil pauses for a second, contemplating his options. His heart is beating out of his chest. You’ve never seen him this nervous. While you had only been at Tenet for about half a year now, you had grown to know Neil far too well. The stolen moments you shared, the kisses you swore to tell no one about. You didn’t know what you were with Neil. You didn’t know if this was superficial or real to him. But, you knew his emotions like you knew the back of your hand. You could tell he was panicking. You had never seen him quite like this. Something was different. Suddenly, Neil grunts and choses to go down the hallway to your right. 
You wanted to say something to him, to talk to him, but you felt yourself falling in and out of consciousness. You knew you needed to stay awake. Neil looked down to check on you and immediately noticed your condition. 
“Stay with me, okay?” He begged. You had never heard Neil talk like this before. “Please stay with me. I’m right here, it’s going to be okay.” He started to pick up his pace, practically sprinting down the hallway now. 
“N-Neil?” You managed to call out to him. 
“Yes, darling?” He responded between gasps for air. You could tell that he was getting tired. 
“Are you okay?” You ask, looking around his body for any signs of blood or even for a possible gun shot wound. 
Neil starts to slow down a bit. He looks down at you again, “I’m alright. It’s you I’m worried about.” 
“You’re not actually worried, are you?” You ask. 
Neil stops for a second, completely out of breath. He takes this as an opportunity to look at your injuries again. He puts his hand over your wound and feels all the blood that’s there. He shakes his head, clearly nervous about how much blood you’ve lost. He readjusts his hold on you, making sure you’re secured in his arms.
He brings his face closer to yours. “Fuck, of course I’m worried about you,” He says in a stern tone. He seems annoyed at the thought that you didn’t know he cared about you. “What the fuck would make you think otherwise?” He isn’t just annoyed now, he’s angry, yet he doesn’t take his face away from yours. You can feel his breath on your nose, just like you did before. The wisps of his hair greet your forehead again too. 
“I-I guess I just don’t know how to read you,” You say, taking a deep breath once you finish your sentence. Neil quickly picked up on your labored breathing and began to jog again. 
There’s silence for just a few seconds before Neil finds the right words to say. “I came back for you because I care about you. The second you left I chased after you. You were just far too quick for me.” 
Your heart flutters in your chest. You didn’t know how much he cared for you. You figured he only saw you as a member of the team, a coworker, a girl to flirt with, someone he had to care for out of convenience and association. The way he was speaking now lead you to believe that he cared for you far beyond that. You stare up into his blue eyes, gathering the courage to finally confess how you feel to him. You felt yourself slipping more quickly out of consciousness, and you desperately wanted him to know how you felt. 
“Neil, I just want you to know that-,”
Your words are interrupted by the loud swinging of a door. Suddenly, you’re outside the now flaming building and in the bitter, dark night. The wind whips and nips at your bare skin. You take a quick look around and remember that you’re in Amsterdam. At least it’s a pretty place to die, You think to yourself. You shiver as the wind attacks you again. 
Neil notices how cold you are. He sets you down on a nearby bench and takes his brown suit jacket off, draping it over you. He picks you up and starts jogging again. 
Just a short ways up the street is the BMW he had been driving for the mission. He opens the car door with one hand, making sure to keep you nestled into his chest with the other. He puts you down on the passenger’s seat, buckles you in, and carefully shuts the door. 
When he gets in on the other side, he sees you drifting off again. “Come on, (Y/N), stay with me, please,” He pleads. He leans over to you and gently kisses your forehead. Your eyelids throw themselves open as Neil’s lips leave your skin. He starts the car engine and begins to drive away. He doesn’t say a thing, but you can’t stop thinking about what just happened. 
“What was that?” You ask, wondering if he simply did that to distract you, to wake you up. He had to know what effect he had on you. 
Neil doesn’t say a thing. He only speeds up, blasting through red lights and ignoring stop signs. You look over at him. He looks like an absolute mad man. His dirty blonde hair is a mess. Dark, purple bags rest under his blue eyes. 
At one point, Neil turns the on the radio and glances at you. “Try to listen to some music, maybe it can keep you awake.” Or maybe his concern for your well being could be enough motivation for you. 
It feels like I only go backwards baby,
Every part of me says, “Go ahead”
I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again,
Feels like we only go backwards, darling. 
Neil somehow gets even faster. You notice that he’s pushing the gas pedal all the way into the floor of the car. You manage to get out one final sentence before losing consciousness, “If I don’t die from this wound, I might die from your driving.”
Then, your eyes shut and the whole world goes black. 
——
Your eyes feel like they’re glued shut, but you force them to open. There’s an arm pulling you in tightly to a firm, warm chest. You inhale deeply, instantly recognizing the scent. 
It was Neil. His face was right in front of yours. He looked so calm, so relaxed. Either this was Heaven, or he somehow managed to save your life from his hotel room. You were hoping it was the latter. You wanted this to be real life.
Neil began to stir about a bit, but his arm never left your back. In fact, the more he stirs, the closer you seem to get to him. You decide to take it all in, because you know reality is going to come crashing down eventually. You know Neil is going to back off of you, apologize, and quickly say that he was merely watching over you to make sure you weren’t dying and didn’t mean to fall asleep. There was no way that he meant to hold you like that. 
“Good morning,” Neil said casually, not taking his arm off of you. He manages to pull you even closer still. Now your noses are touching. A playful smile stretches across Neil’s lips. 
You couldn’t believe this was happening. You’re shocked, too shocked to say a thing. 
Your silence makes Neil concerned, “What’s wrong? Did I do something? Are you in pain?”
You smile at him, “No, everything is okay. Of course I’m in pain, but this feels good.” Neil’s smile reappears. But, you’re still confused. “I just need to know something Neil,” You say, as the smile disappears from Neil’s face yet again. 
“What’s the matter?” He asks as he draws letters on your back, or at least that’s what it feels as though he’s doing.  
You shake your head slightly. “Nothing is the matter,” You pause, recalling the events of the previous night. “It’s just, am I okay? How much blood did I loose? And Neil I need to know how you feel about-,” 
Neil abruptly cuts your rambling off, “You’re alright. I took care of you after you passed out. I cleaned out the wound and sowed you up. It was easier to do with you asleep, to be honest. I don’t think you would’ve like it very much,” Neil grins before continuing, “Luckily your heart rate stayed completely stable the whole time.” 
You nod your head, waiting for him to address the half asked question towards the end of your rambling that he seemed to get the understanding of. But, there’s no response. 
You decide it’s time to say something. It can’t wait any longer. “Neil, I need to know what all this means. I need to know how you feel about me.” 
“Likewise,” He returns, but there’s no grin upon his face. He’s serious, if not somber. 
Regardless, you’re annoyed. “Likewise?” You repeat back to him. “I’ve liked you since the second I saw you, and I feel as though I’ve made that abundantly clear. I’ve given you all the signs, all the hints, and you just continue to play these stupid ga-,”
Neil cuts you off, “I had to sit there and watch you almost die. I worked on your wound all night. I’ve been fucking terrified for the past 12 hours wondering whether or not you would make it. I ditched the team to make sure you were safe, and I don’t regret that choice one bit. These aren’t games (Y/N). Being in love with someone isn’t a fucking game.” 
Silence fills the room. Being in love with someone…those words repeated over and over again in your head. You couldn’t let them go. 
Neil catches gaze and holds it. He’s waiting for something from you, but you don’t know how to communicate how you feel anymore. It was like he broke you. 
You know Neil can’t take the tension anymore, and before you can say a word, Neil’s lips hungrily crash into yours. He grabs your waist carefully, keeping you pulled in tight without hurting your wound. 
Neil’s lips leave yours. “Are you happy now?” He asks, brushing where he just was with his thumb. 
“Y-yes,” You say, wanting more. 
“Then it’s settled,” Neil states confidently. He smiles slyly, as he always does.
You’re confused beyond belief. “What is?”
“That you’re mine,” Neil says, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb. He brings your face closer to his, and kisses you again. 
206 notes · View notes
ethanesimp · 3 years ago
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WHEN YOU’RE GONE // D.D.
Pairing: Mob Boss! Damiano David x Mob GN! Reader (it was originally written with a fem! reader so please let me know if you spot any slip ups on my part)
Summary: Soulmates are already a difficult concept to grasp and things don’t seem to get any easier when you like a person who already has a soulmate.
Word Count: 9.8k (it’s so long lakjd)
Warnings: Swearing, death and mentions of it, injuries, angst -lots of it-, it’s a mob fic so violence, smoking, Damiano being kind of an asshole? Me probably using swear words in italian wrong... Just read with caution pls
Masterlist // Taglist link in bio
A/N: If you’ve seen this before, it’s probably because this has been written and posted on my other blog @pparkersbitch as a Tom Holland fanfiction at the beginning of the year (which has now been deleted). It’s the same person and I’m not stealing anyone’s work :) I just like it and wanted to bring it back. I did add/modify some tiny details though. The idea is probably dumb, but I’m sharing anyways.
Taglist: @gretavanfleetlove​ @superchrystaldrug​ @reputationdamiano​​
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“This isn’t how I wanted to start my morning,” Your best friend mumbled in a tired voice. You could barely hear him from where you were standing over the sounds the old -and surely broken- coffee machine kept making and the music playing from his phone.
“Well, sucks to be us, huh?” You chuckled and poured coffee on both of your cups as you did a small dance to try and shake the tiredness off your body. You handed Damiano his cup after preparing his coffee the way he liked it, a teaspoon of sugar with a splash of milk, and walked with him to the large office down the hall, “I don’t get why Ethan and Thomas can’t do this instead of us.”
The room was always cold and you seemed to forget about it most of the time since it still slipped your mind to wear a sweater or hoodie over your thin pajama shirt. You grabbed one of the blankets from the small black couch on the corner of the room and wrapped it around your body as best as you could with your free hand. 
You sat down on the chair next to him to have a better look at all the papers and files he had spread out on the desk, “What exactly are we looking for?” You asked with furrowed eyebrows. All those documents were enough to keep you occupied for the whole day if you didn’t work fast enough.
“We are looking for any leads to the drug cartel or its leader. Really anything that can help us find them,” Damiano explained and took a sip of his coffee as he opened the first file. 
You had been trying to track a drug cartel ever since they infiltrated your warehouse and stole some of your products. Damiano’s father had been at both of your necks ever since it happened as if it had been your fault instead of the incompetent guards that were supposed to be guarding the entrance at all times, “I’m sure these are people we’ve made deals with in the past, they wouldn’t have been able to break in otherwise. We’ve always been far too careful for this to be a mere coincidence.”
He removed the gold ring from his ring finger and left it on the jewelry bowl you had placed on his desk. You had known Damiano David and his family for years. For as long as you had known him, the band on his ring finger had been gold, and you hated it. 
That stupid little gold band was a silent reminder that he had met his soulmate and there was nothing to be done about it. For months you had silently hoped and prayed for Damiano to be your soulmate, but any illusion or wish you had of it happening, had vanished the moment you saw the gold ring on his finger for the first time. You later discovered he avoided wearing it on his hand because it put his soulmate at risk of being found, but he still kept it close to him at all times by using it as a necklace.
You avoided wearing yours for an entirely different reason. The black ring and all the stares and words of pity that came with it were saddening and something you didn’t need. While gold was a reminder of love and good luck, black was a reminder that your soulmate was no longer alive and you were doomed to spend the rest of your life alone. You were sure the band had been black for most of your life, or at least that’s how you remembered it.
It was safe to say you were jealous of Damiano’s soulmate, Marlee. Not only was she one of the most beautiful women you had ever met, but she got to have perhaps the most amazing man by her side until her dying day, something you could never have in any way that wasn’t platonic.
You successfully ignored it most days, which wasn’t so hard to do since you had better things to think about most of the time, but nights were always the hardest. In your loud and chaotic life, there was a speck in time where everything quieted and calmed down. During those few hours was when you’d break down and grieve for the person whose name you didn’t even get to know. You’d cry for being stupid enough to fall for someone who wasn’t only your best friend, but who also had a girlfriend.
“Damiano, Y/N?” Marlee’s sweet voice interrupted your train of thoughts. You had been reading the files consciously enough to notice anything unusual, but you had paid no mind to anything else until she walked into the room. You smiled politely at her and waved. 
She walked up to Damiano and he immediately closed all files with any sort of photo that might be too graphic for her to look at. Marlee cupped his face and pressed her lips to his for a few moments that felt like an eternity to you, watching everything from the side as a feeling of jealousy invaded your senses. You did nothing but look at the painting on the wall until they stopped locking lips, which took a bit longer than you would’ve liked.
“Did you two find anything?” Marlee asked once she pulled away from Damiano. He gave her a look you knew as ‘I cannot tell you anything about the mob to keep you safe’. She had been involved with the mob’s administration for most of her life, only after she met Damiano and her father united his mob with Damiano’s did she stop working. 
You had been brought in as a replacement of sorts once Marlee stopped doing any mob business per Damiano’s request. His parents had saved yours from a legal accident, which left you in debt with his family, so you didn’t have much say on whether you’d join the mob or not. 
Something you were grateful for was that Damiano always kept your hands clean. No matter what business it was, he made sure to keep you out of any sort of situation in which you’d have to hurt or get hurt by another member of the mob. Most people that worked for Damiano didn’t have the pleasure of knowing him as the lenient and caring individual he was around you.
You excused yourself after spending a few more minutes flipping through the files in search of something but ultimately found nothing. It was supposed to be your free day, or at least that was what Damiano had promised. Apart from that impromptu search for information at 5 am, he promised he’d have Ethan, Vic, or Thomas help with anything he needed. 
That was why you took the liberty to lock yourself inside your room and put your phone on silent. You desperately wanted to catch up on all the hours of sleep you had lost in between those early morning duty calls and coffee runs. No matter how much you enjoyed spending time with Damiano, you still missed your normal sleep schedule.
-
When you woke up a few hours later, the house was completely silent. The usual chatter coming from the kitchen wasn’t there, neither was the noise of Vic repeatedly firing bullets at the targets in the garden to practice her aim like she did every morning or the soft sound of Thomas softly strumming his guitar as he tried to piece an unplanned melody together with the assistance of Ethan’s drumming.
It wasn’t a Sunday, which meant they weren’t away visiting their families. They were all supposed to be home. That last thought made you nervous and you couldn’t help but wonder if something had happened while you were asleep. Being in the mob, you knew a lot of unexpected things happened all the time and you had to be prepared for them all.
You walked to the door, determined to investigate what was wrong. Your hand was already firmly grasping the doorknob and you were about to undo the lock when someone knocked harshly on the door, startling you. 
Without hesitation, you jumped back and reached for the gun stuffed in one of the drawers nearby, “Y/N? You awake?” 
You let go of the drawer’s handle and your tense body relaxed at the sound of Victoria’s raspy voice, “Fuck, Vic, you scared me,” You spoke as you opened the door to be met with her panicked blue eyes. Your eyebrows furrowed at her worried expression, but before you could ask, she grabbed you by the arm softly and dragged you out of the room.
Once you were in the hallway, you finally heard everything with a lot more clarity. The faint sound of glass clinking before falling to the floor, Thomas’s exasperated shouts, and Damiano’s complaints. You looked at Victoria, expecting an explanation.
“I don’t know what happened,” She began, “One second he was alright, then at like 9 AM Ethan and I heard them fighting. She’s gone and Damiano’s locked in his room, won’t let anyone in. Thomas is trying to get him to talk while Ethan looks for the keys.”
You walked past Victoria and ran up the stairs. Damiano’s room was right above yours. Upon walking up to the third floor of the house, you saw Thomas repeatedly knocking on Damiano’s door. Once he heard footsteps and spotted you, it was like relief washed all over him at the sight of you.
“Do you mind trying?” He asked, “He’s been asking for you,” Thomas added with a sigh as he brushed his messy hair out of his forehead. You nodded and got closer to the door once he got out of the way.
With hesitation, you knocked on the door and patiently waited for a response, which arrived only after you knocked once again, “Vaffanculo, Thomas! Which part of your tiny fucking brain cannot understand that I want to be left alone?”
You flinched at his words and took a long breath as you gathered the confidence to speak up, “I-It’s Y/N, Dami,” You said, loud enough for him to hear you from where he was. You were expecting rejection; if Damiano didn’t want to talk to people who were as close to him as siblings, why would he talk to you? Sure, you were one of his best friends, but he’d known Thomas for longer than he—
Your thoughts were interrupted when Damiano opened the door and quickly dragged you in before slamming it shut once more. For the first few minutes, you stood in silence while Damiano faced the door. You couldn’t see his face or his eyes, so you had no idea what could be going through his mind, so you focused on your surroundings instead. 
The room was a mess, but not more than it usually was. What alarmed you was the shattered glass on the floor as well as the drops of blood that stained the white floor. You looked back at your best friend and noticed that it was dripping from his hand. 
“Damiano,” You called, “Amore, your hand,” He turned to look at you and that’s when you finally saw his red and swollen eyes as well his tear-stained cheeks. His gaze softened once his eyes fell on yours. He choked back a sob and turned away from you once again.
If his hand hadn’t been bleeding, you wouldn’t have hesitated on wrapping your arms around his neck and trying to comfort him. Instead, you ran to his bathroom to grab the first-aid kit. After years of being in the business, treating Damiano’s cuts and injuries wasn’t anything new to you, but you were oblivious as to why he was in such a state in the first place.
Being the person he was, Damiano had learned to conceal his emotions incredibly well to protect himself, even around the people he trusted the most. You had only seen him that shaken once when something had gone terribly wrong. The fact that Marlee was gone too only gave you a worse feeling. The fact that her clothes were all gone from the closet didn’t ease your worried mind either.
Damiano was sitting on the bed patiently waiting for you to return. Once you did, he avoided your gaze and said nothing as you examined his hand. The cuts were all superficial and would surely cure on their own in a few days, which was why you only focused on removing the tiny shards of glass that had stuck to his skin with a pair of tweezers.
Once that was done and you had cleaned the cuts, you wrapped a bandage around his hand once and secured it with a small piece of tape. You sat in silence for a while, you didn’t comment on the sobs that would escape his lips every once in a while or the tears that had started falling down his cheeks.
Instead, you waited until he was ready to say something, “I don’t even know how to tell you this,” Damiano mumbled. His eyes stayed glued to the floor. He seemed… embarrassed to look you in the eye.
“I was finally going to do it this morning, N/N,” He said as a sigh escaped past his lips and he took a small velvet box out of his pocket. He didn’t have to say what was inside the box because you knew exactly what it was. Damiano had been planning on proposing for months, but there was always something that managed to get in the way of completing his goal.
“She went to the bathroom and had left her phone on my bedside table. I was going to get the ring and Y/N… I-I swear to God I didn’t want to look but the messages kept coming, one after the other, the fucking phone wouldn’t stop making noise. Cazzo, she was the one feeding information to the drug cartel and Lord knows to who else,” He said those words in one breath and you had barely been able to catch them all. Damiano threw the box at the wall angrily and from the noise, you didn’t doubt there’d be an indent there.
“I asked her about it and you have no idea how much I wished she’d deny it, but she didn’t even try,” Damiano cried. Unexpectedly, Damiano turned his body around to face yours and wrapped his arms around your waist while he buried his face on your neck.
It took you by surprise, but you said nothing. Instead, you focused on rubbing circles on his back and whispering soothing words into his ear. Part of you knew there was something else going on, even if you didn’t ask. You hadn’t seen Damiano cry in a long time and even then you saw nothing more than just a few tears rolling down his cheeks. What happened with Marlee had truly driven him right to the edge and he couldn’t keep in everything he had been trying so hard to hide.
-
In the four months that followed, you didn’t see Marlee once. She never had the guts to return after Damiano found out about everything she had been doing behind his back. At first, he had been utterly destroyed by her absence, it pained you to see him shut everything and everyone out with the lame excuse that he had work to do. Every single time he did so, you’d quietly sit down and help him despite his complaints. 
He got better though. Once enough time passed, he healed, but all that love he had once felt for her was now nothing more than pure hatred every single time her name was mentioned. You knew better than anyone that it wasn’t the healthiest thing to do, but it didn’t matter how many times you told him so because it never truly changed much.
As for the mob, things seemed to calm down once Damiano and Ethan were able to track down the leader of the drug cartel and get the stolen products back. Everything was too good and too quiet. While your four friends enjoyed all that peace, you couldn’t help but worry about something being wrong. It was a silly thing anyway, there was nothing that gave you even the slightest confirmation that your worry wasn’t just fueled by paranoia, not a single thing.
You should’ve been grateful instead. Your sleep schedule had gotten acceptably regular and there was no more working from 5 am to 10 pm every single day. You also had time to finally sit down and read the books that had been sitting on your untouched shelf ever since the start of the year, just like you were doing at that very moment while the boys were playing poker in the basement and Vic was on a date.
Damiano walked into your room eventually, still smelling like the cigarette he had just been smoking minutes back. He couldn’t help but scrunch up his nose as the smell of lemon incense burning hit his nostrils.
You looked up and giggled at his disgusted expression, “You cannot be disgusted when you were the one who walked into my room smelling like cigar and beer,” Damiano rolled his eyes and plopped down on the bed next to you.
“Incense is bad for you,” You shot Damiano a killer look and closed your book. He gave you a funny look back and then put his attention on your book, “What are you reading anyway?”
You hummed and showed him the cover. It had a beautiful yet simple design, which accurately represented the story hidden in between those pages, “Okay so, it’s the story of these people that all get invited to this island. They’re all summoned there for different reasons but it turns out they all have this common enemy. It’s terrifying because they get killed off one by one when a children’s lullaby plays. I truly cannot explain it enough to do justice to how intense this book is.”
“Oh and before that I got to read the most wonderful romance book! It was apparently the first book written where soulmates weren’t a thing and it was just a piece of art. Beautifully written, made me cry for hours too.”
Damiano smiled and you could almost see all the gears turning inside his brain, “Wouldn’t it be amazing?”
“What would?”
He shrugged and propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look at you, “A world without soulmates, where you’re not bound to someone since birth.”
You sighed and turned to look at him, “It’s our own fault… being bound, I mean. No angel from the heavens came down to tell us we have to love our soulmate as anything more than a close friend, you know? It can be purely platonic, we’re just stupid.”
“Were you ever able to fall in love with your soulmate or was it just platonic?” Damiano asked. You never talked much about soulmates with him. He still didn’t know your soulmate had been dead for as long as you could remember.
“I never got to know them,” You smiled sadly and showed him the black ring you had gotten used to wearing around your neck, carefully tucked under your shirt to stay unseen. His mouth fell open as he grabbed the ring and inspected it closely. It was the first time he had seen a black ring.
“I didn’t know… I’m sorry,” Damiano let the ring go. You shrugged and waved your hand to silently show it wasn’t too important, “I thought you guys were separated or something.”
You shook your head, “Mom says the ring turned black when I was six, but I don’t really remember so I just like to pretend I never had one in the first place… I don’t know.”
There was a question on the tip of your tongue, but you didn’t want to ask it, as intrigued as you were to know the answer. You hadn’t talked about her ever since she left and he’d most likely avoid the question because he truly wanted to keep her name out of his mouth. Nonetheless, he noticed your hesitance because you suddenly got too silent. 
“You can ask, you know? I know I just touched on a sensitive topic, so…” You nodded. Both of you were lying on your backs, looking up at the ceiling which had some of those glow-in-the-dark stars and planets you had glued when you first moved in to feel less lonely.
You hummed softly as you tried to find the right words. You didn’t want to be too straightforward with your question in fear of upsetting your best friend even though he had asked you the same question minutes earlier, “Did-did you ever… you know, fall in love with her?” 
Damiano thought about it in silence, you had probably caught him off-guard with your question, “No, not really. Not in the way I was expecting at least. You know truth be told, I was a bit disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, she had this angelic look to her, she was a stunning girl. I just- there was nothing we had in common other than being soulmates. For years I had seen my parents act like they shared one mind and just thought the same things. I always imagined it’d be like that for me too.
“My expectations couldn’t have been further from what it truly was like. Honestly, I’m not even sure which part of our relationship was true anymore. Now that I look back on it, I’ve realized most of the things she did or said were just to get information out of me.” 
It was weird to hear him say all that. As a person who always got to look at the way Marlee and Damiano interacted with one another, you would’ve never expected Damiano to feel that way, “And,” He continued, “I was expecting it to be someone else.”
His last confession made you turn around to look at him. It was the first time he had admitted that, probably because of the beer he had been drinking while playing with his friends.
“I know it sounds terrible but… I met her and this other person on the same day, almost at the same time. I didn’t notice my ring had turned gold until much later. I had only been with them both and people I already knew. I thought it had been the other person until she told me her ring had changed too. Meanwhile, the other one said nothing. Now I realize it would’ve been impossible for them to be my soulmate.”
It might’ve been because he was telling you all those things and you felt safe to admit what you felt, or maybe because you were tired of bottling it up for so long. Either way, you spoke up, not caring if you’d regret it later, “It’s not as terrible as you might think.”
“Look, I’m not bound to anyone. The black ring gives me the freedom of loving someone else. I never met my soulmate so there’s no guilt in being with someone else. It’s supposed to be a perfect thing, Dami, only it isn’t. I know a lot of people who’re also blacksouled,” You hated using the word. It was usually how people would refer to those who didn’t have a soulmate anymore, “And I fell in love.”
“T-that’s great!” Damiano replied, “Why didn’t you tell me? I mean, not like you’re obliged to tell me anything just because we’re friends but I-”
You interrupted his rant, “I fell in love with someone whose soulmate’s still alive.”
“So what? You said it yourself. Are they together?” He asked. You told him they weren’t. If only he knew you were talking about him… He’d probably run away and never speak to you again, “Then fuck it. Fuck the rules and everything else society has to say.”
“It’s not that simple, Dami. I truly wish it was, but it isn’t,” You wanted nothing more than for the conversation to be over. If it went any further, you knew you’d spill every single thing. It had gotten far too hard to conceal your feelings when you were close to him. Now that you were talking about them, it’d be even harder.
You got up and walked to your bookshelf, where you started accommodating your books as an excuse to avoid being so close to him, to avoid his curious gaze. Even if they weren’t together anymore, you knew Damiano would reject you, that was far too obvious. Even if he felt the same, after what happened, it’d take Damiano a lot of effort to ever trust someone in such an intimate way, even if that someone was you, his best friend.
“Why? It is that simple. If they’re not together, what’s stopping you? You’ll never know what could happen if you don’t try,” You turned around to look at him, fists clenched by your sides, “Listen Y/N, I know you’re scared of relationships and everything they involve but you cannot let that sto—” 
“Fine then, I’m in love with you! I can barely breathe when I’m around you because my love for you is so suffocatingly strong, and I can’t think straight either! You and your stupidly handsome face drive me insane. How’s that?” You admitted, interrupting his small speech midway, too irritated to process what you had just said. Once you did, your hand flew to your mouth and you shook your head. You wanted to say it wasn’t true, no, it was nothing more than a lie to get him to stop poking his nose into your love life. Except it wasn’t and, if you were being honest, no part of you wanted to hide it anymore.
Just like you expected, he said nothing. Damiano stayed silent for a few seconds before getting up and walking out without another word. He slammed the door on the way out so hard you wouldn’t be surprised if the door separated from its hinges.
For the weeks that followed, Damiano avoided you as much as possible. You were still his right-hand person and needed to be present at every meeting and would have to discuss any type of business with him. It used to be your favorite part of the day when you got to sit in the meeting room with Damiano and discuss plans to make the mob prosper, now it was nothing but uncomfortable because you’d do all the talking while he looked at you as if his biggest desire was to carve your heart out with his pocket knife. 
While you understood that he was still mad at Marlee and wanted nothing to do with her, you didn’t understand why he was treating you that way when you had nothing to do with it and weren’t to blame for the stupid shit his ex had tried to pull. You thought he knew that you loved him far too much to ever do anything to jeopardize his safety. Yet again, he might’ve assumed the same thing about Marlee.
You walked out of yet another unsuccessful meeting with Damiano and slammed the door as hard as you could to let him know how much his childish behavior annoyed you. Ethan was standing close to the door and you could see the shadow of a smile that was threatening to break out and illuminate his face, “Don’t you dare,” He raised his hands in defense and bit his lip to try and hide the smile that would just annoy you further.
“You two are starting to act like two teenagers and it’s fucking pathetic,” Thomas chimed in from where he was sitting on one of the couches.
“Yeah? Tell that to your friend who is giving me the silent treatment like a fucking toddler! I just want- I need to have a serious conversation with him,” You admitted and sighed as you fell on the couch right next to Thomas, head in your hands to try and cover up the tears that were threatening to spill down your cheeks.
Both men stayed silent as they watched you, Even though you could feel their stares, you decided to focus on not crying instead. The truth was, the longer Damiano spent ignoring you, the more you regretted telling him what you had been bottling up for years, it had been a mistake there was no coming back from. Unless he decided to stop acting like a kindergartener, things would never go back to the way they were.
It was frustrating to think that your friendship would go to shit just because of your confession. Being rejected by him wouldn’t have been a big deal if he had actually stayed in your room and spoken like the adult he was.
“For the record, I think he’s acting like an idiot because he’s scared,” Sighed Victoria, who had just walked into the room with an ice pack placed over her hand, “I know it’s been a while but, give him time. He’ll come around or I’ll make him, I promise.”
You gave Victoria a tight-lipped smile and nodded. You hoped more than anything that it wouldn’t have to come to getting locked up in the same room as Damiano to get him to speak to you.
Except… as more days passed, you feared it would most likely have to be that way because he was still saying nothing to you. He had only spoken once and it had been to call you out for being doing everything wrong while looking through some important documents when you were, in fact, doing everything just like he had initially requested. Now, not only had he been giving you the cold shoulder, but he had started acting like a complete jerk around you too.
You tried to distract yourself by focusing on all the work you had pending, but it wasn’t working. Every single day, no matter what you were doing, your mind still wandered back to the brown-eyed man and his stupid face, his stupid hair, and stupid smile.
Even as you stood in the middle of the kitchen, your thoughts made it difficult to bake the cookies you had been craving all week. You had started to work on the second batch after the first one came out disgustingly salty because somewhere along the process you had mistaken the salt for the sugar.  
You hated how bothered you were by the whole situation. It had affected you way more than you would’ve liked to admit. Truth be told, you had never felt sad about his rejection because it was something you had expected ever since that attraction for him first settled on your brain. It was the way he was treating you that got on your nerves. 
That was mainly the reason why you were so thankful for being alone in the house at that very moment. Apart from a few security guards here and there, you were completely alone. You allowed yourself to relax for a split second and connected your phone to the speaker system in the kitchen. You started playing one of your favorite playlists before getting back to making cookies the right way this time.
You softly swayed your body along to the music as you dumped all the ingredients on the large bowl in front of you. As you poured the flour in the bowl and mixed it with your hands, you noticed Damiano standing by the door. For some unknown reason, he scared you so bad you accidentally tipped the bowl and made a mess of the counter. 
A frustrated sigh escaped past your lips and you threw your head back, feeling defeated and irritated, “I’m sorry,” Damiano spoke up hesitantly, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
You shook your head and wiped your hands on the apron you had tied around your waist, “It’s fine,” You turned around so your back was to him and started wiping the counter with a damp towel. 
“You deserve so much better…” You heard him speak up over the music. His words caught you by surprise. You turned around to look at him but said nothing. You could tell he was nervous by the way his hands trembled by his sides and the way his jaw was firmly clenched.
After a few minutes of hesitation, Damiano started walking to where you were. He placed his hands on the counter by your sides, leaving you trapped in between the counter and his body. You looked into his dark eyes to maybe try and guess what was going through his mind. 
You breathed in so deeply your chest hit his. You gulped at that and tried to control your trembling hands without looking away.
“What you said the other day, did you mean it?” Damiano asked, without hesitation this time around. Your eyes widened.
“I-I… What?”
“Just answer me Y/N, please,” Damiano pleaded. He looked so desperate to know the answer, which only made your blood boil. After weeks of silence, of glares and being a jerk, he dared to just show up and demand answers?
You shook your head and pointed your finger at his chest, “How dare you?” You took a step towards him, which made Damiano take a step back, “You have no right to show up like this and ask me to give you answers after how much of an asshole you’ve been.”
He seemed taken aback by your truthful words, but you didn’t care. If he wanted to know how much truth had been behind your words that night, he’d have to hear it all, “You know I’m your best friend and you also know I’d keep up with anything you do because that’s how much I care about you, but can you stop it? I know I was stupid for telling you because of what you just went through and I’m sorry, but please don’t keep giving me the cold shoulder. I just want to fix this.”
After a few minutes of silence, you shrugged and, like it was the simplest thing in the world, spoke up, “And yeah, I meant every word.”
Your expression softened as you waited for any sort of reaction from Damiano. You expected something similar to what had happened the day you first told him. No part of you expected him to cup your face with his warm, calloused palms to bring your face closer to him once again. 
Neither did you expect to feel his soft lips pressed against yours, or the feeling of his soft hair as you brushed it back with your fingers and your eyes slowly closing as you basked on the joy and pleasure his soft touches caused.
Damiano was gentle as he held your face in between his hands, almost as if you were made of glass and he was afraid of breaking you into pieces if he didn’t hold you delicately enough. That kiss felt so intimate, like nothing you had ever felt before. Everything from the way he held you to his slow movements and touches was so much better than you could’ve ever imagined.
When he pulled away, he left you completely breathless, wordless. There was nothing you could possibly say after the way he had kissed you, so you waited for him to find the right words instead.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Damiano mumbled. He still hadn’t let go of your face, “You truly deserve better. You are so beautiful, so perfect. I’m so sorry for being such an idiot and hurting you, ignoring you. I just- I know I cannot love you as you deserve. Believe me, I want nothing more than to have you close to me all the time, to kiss your lips until you grow sick of me, but I can’t,” His voice was starting to crack as he said those words to you and you knew it was because of how he saw your face fall.
“No, no, shut up and listen to me,” You pleaded and placed your hands on top of his. You gave them a soft squeeze and let your forehead rest against his, “I know it’s hard for you to trust after what happened with her and I know it’s not going to be easy, but believe me, I’m willing to try if you are, Damiano.”
“You were that other person,” He confessed and got closer to kiss you once more, with as much passion as the last time. You were too concentrated on the smell of his musky cologne and the faint taste of vanilla chapstick he had surely stolen from your room to respond to his comment.
His hands fell from your face and comfortably rested on your hips as his lips attacked yours. Damiano pushed you against the counter and kept savoring the moment as if it were the first and last time he’d kiss you like that. You hoped for your sake it wouldn’t be the last.
Damiano pulled away reluctantly and unexpectedly lifted you up so you’d sit on the counter. He stood in between your legs and intertwined his fingers with yours.
“Remember when I told you about the person I met the day I met Marlee?” You nodded, “That was you... Ever since I met you I’ve felt this inexplicable attraction towards you and it’s been driving me insane. I couldn’t believe it when you told me you loved me because I’ve done nothing to deserve it.”
“You’ve done so much to deserve it, so so much,” You mumbled and brought him close to you to kiss him for the third time. It was such an addicting feeling and both your heart and mind were screaming to feel it again.
That time around, Damiano didn’t hesitate to lift you up once more, he carried you to his room and locked the door.
— 
It had been a few weeks since your conversation in the kitchen. Things returned back to normal after that night. Other than your relationship with Damiano, things were the same again. You had to go back to working at ungodly hours of the morning thanks to some suspicious activity Ethan had noticed. Apparently, one of the oldest members of Damiano’s mob had tried to establish a deal with an unknown subject but had been caught before he could accomplish it. 
This put you both on edge because there was someone out there desperate to break into the mob and finish it for good. At first, you thought it wasn’t more serious than whatever had happened with Marlee, but Damiano’s father proved you wrong the moment he brought you, their most loyal employee, in for questioning. 
It had been nothing too serious, at least not in comparison to what you had heard others say. In your case, it had been done mostly as a standardized protocol, to stop others from thinking there was some sort of preference or special treatment towards you just because you worked so close to Damiano. You knew almost everything Damiano did, so you were possibly the greatest source of information outside the David family and their small circle of friends.
“Amore?” Damiano asked softly as his hand caressed the exposed skin of your waist. You had been cuddling in bed for almost two hours with the excuse that you needed a break after all the hard work you’d done, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
You turned around to be face to face with him and pressed a kiss to his freckled nose, “Not much. I was just remembering I need to get my ring resized again. I tried putting it on a few days ago and it didn’t fit anymore.
Damiano frowned at your words, “Your soulmate ring?”
“Mhm,” You responded simply and let your head rest on his chest. You enjoyed the feeling of warmth his body irradiated, it was soothing and the soft sound of his rhythmic heartbeat never failed to make you feel calmer.
“Soulmate rings don’t need to be resized, ever. Not that I know of, at least,” Now it was your turn to frown because, as far as you remembered, you had always gone to get your ring resized by a family friend who didn’t live too far away. No one had ever told you it wasn’t necessary.
You pulled away from his embrace and reached for the bedside table where you had been keeping the ring for the past few days. Once you turned back around, Damiano looked confused and almost scared, “Just, out of curiosity, tesoro. Have you ever taken off the ring and left it like far away for longer than a few hours?”
A giggle escaped past your lips at his silly question, “It’s just a piece of jewelry, Dami. Of course, I have, several times.”
You laughed nervously once you saw his horrified expression. Damiano was starting to scare you, but you knew better than to say something because you’d end up looking like a fool if he started laughing and told you it was all a joke. Except, it didn’t seem like one.
“Please get dressed and meet me in room five, okay? I might be going insane but I just need to make sure I’m not,” Before you could ask any questions, Damiano had already grabbed a pair of pants and a t-shirt and disappeared into the bathroom to get dressed.
You tried not to think much about his weird questions and got dressed quickly instead. You grabbed your cup of tea, which had already gone cold, and walked to meeting room five.
You opened the door and were surprised to see all your friends already sitting around the small table you’d use for informal meetings. Thomas and Victoria looked tired and Ethan’s long hair was tangled and messy. That gave you the impression that Damiano had most likely woken them all up for your impromptu meeting. 
They all looked just as confused as you felt. There were a lot of questions you wanted to ask, but Ethan beat you to it, “Okay, now that we’re all here can you fucking explain why you had to wake me up? Please.”
“Have any of you three—,” Started Damiano, referring to Thomas, Victoria and Ethan, “—tried to take off your ring for a while but have started feeling sick and weird?”
Thomas and Victoria looked at each other, confused, but nodded. Ethan did after a few seconds of thinking about it, “Yeah, there was actually this one time I went on a date and I didn’t want the girl to see the ring had turned gold, so I left it at home. Thirty minutes later I was puking everywhere. I didn’t really understand why but someone at the Soulmate Centre explained rings are an extension of the soul and they need to be close to us at all times and there are actually records of people dying after losing their rings. Why?”
Damiano looked at you and raised his eyebrows to silently ask if he could share the information with the other three guys. Once you nodded, Damiano spoke up, “Y/N doesn’t need to have it close to them and they need to get it resized every once in a while.”
Ethan shrugged his shoulders, “That’s as far as my knowledge goes. I don’t know. I think the best thing you can do is go to the SC.”
You sighed but nodded. Ethan’s explanation had started to freak you out. What if there was something terribly wrong with you? What if you were born without a ring and your parents lied to you all your life?
— 
After having a short conversation with Damiano in private, you decided to follow Ethan’s advice and go to the Soulmate Centre that was only a few minutes away from your house. He wanted to go with you or send someone to watch over you but had accepted your petition to go alone after you told him it was a private matter and you'd tell him all about it once you got back.
So there you were, on the reception of the SC, with your sweaty hands intertwined together as you tried to ignore all the dirty looks people were giving you. Everyone around knew exactly who you were and most weren't one bit pleased to see you there. While some didn't hesitate to look at you like they wanted to kill you, others were afraid to do so.
Those few minutes that passed until the lady at the desk called your name were some of the most uncomfortable of your life. Some part of you hated having the mobster title because that usually gave people the wrong idea and drove them to hate you even if you could proudly say you had done nothing illegal or violent in your whole life. You had to admit the mob wasn’t an ideal job to have morally wise, but you had found a family inside those four walls others doomed to be cursed.
You walked up to the lady. She had what you could interpret as a nervous smile as she stood behind the desk, patiently waiting for you to tell her what had brought you there in the first place. You were hesitant to communicate your issue because you were mortified of finding out a truth that should probably stay hidden.
You reached back and unclasped the chain the ring was looped through. You left it on the counter and smiled softly as you shyly spoke, “So uh, good morning, ma’am. I was hoping you could take a look at my ring, I’m slightly concerned there was something wrong with it.”
The lady nodded and removed the ring from the chain. She inspected it closely for a few minutes before nodding her head towards one of the rooms that said ‘only employees allowed’. She started walking towards it with a quick step and you saw no other choice but to follow right behind her.
She opened the door and quickly closed it with a lock once she verified you were inside, “Listen, the only reason I’m not turning you over to the authorities is because you don’t strike me as someone stupid enough to walk into an SC with a soulmate ring like this.”
Your jaw dropped in surprise at how direct she was being. For a second, you noticed her face fall before she realized it was best to keep a face that communicated seriousness instead of begging for your forgiveness or whatever people did when they pissed Damiano off.
“I don’t know who gave this to you or in which illegal market you bought this but if a higher authority sees you with this, not even Damiano David could save you from the consequences of sporting a fake ring,” She said. You honestly didn’t know how to respond because panic had started to drown out any coherent thought that tried to form on your mind.
You didn’t even try to disguise your panicked expression that time around. Instead, you focused on regulating your breathing and trying to keep all your emotions at bay before you lost control and began to hyperventilate. The other woman noticed your distress almost immediately and led you to sit down on one of the couches.
After you took a few deep breaths, you looked back at her, eager to ask thousands of questions, “How can you know they are fake?”
She sat down next to you and put the ring on your palm, “Look at the inside,” She demanded while pointing her finger to a spot on the inside edge of the ring, “They usually have something engraved inside, a code that only repeats itself twice. Whenever one loses their soulmate, this code vanishes. Your code is still there. I also used a detector to confirm my suspicions and it detected nothing.”
“And with… with that code, can you tell me if my soulmate’s still alive? Or who they are?” The older lady looked at you with pity in her green eyes and shook her head.
“Unless this is the original code engraved on the real ring, there’s not much I can do for you other than telling you how your soulmate is. I need so much more information to ever give you a name,” You nodded in understanding. All you needed to know was if they were alive, that’s all you wanted.
She took your nod as a sign of approval and disappeared into another room. While you waited, you couldn’t help but secretly hope they were dead. You wanted all those weeks of bliss you had spent with Damiano to last a lifetime. He knew everything about you, from the number of scars scattered around your body to what book you had read the most times. No soulmate could learn that about you until years after meeting each other. Besides, it wouldn’t feel right. The Gods had already been too cruel for not making him your soulmate, but now that he wasn’t with Marlee and you knew he loved you just as much as you loved him… 
She walked out of the room and cleared her throat to catch your attention. You were thankful for her interruption because you were mere seconds away from bursting into tears of distress. She looked nervous to tell you what she had found out, but the way you looked at her made her spill the truth without any warning.
“Your soulmate is still somewhere out there, alive.”
— 
Damiano clutched his side with his hands as every type of curse word spilled from his mouth, “Thomas! Dammit Thomas, where the fuck are you?” He screamed and pushed the ache in his throat and side to the back of his mind as he limped towards the table where his loaded gun was placed, ready to be grabbed and shot. 
Things had been perfectly fine just ten minutes back. He had been drinking and playing pool with the boys in the basement. They were all laughing and messing around when Victoria heard the first gunshot. Thomas had been quick to dismiss it as one of the guards practicing his accuracy like they did every once in a while, so they went back to playing the game.
Then they heard it again and again and again. In that time it took the four men to walk up the stairs, people had already successfully broken into the house and they were shooting at anything that moved. The blood-red snake symbol all these people had on the masks that were covering their faces was one he had grown far too familiar with. These were the people Marlee had been conspiring with and they had managed to overthrow every single line of defense in between them and the front door.
Damiano had been in his room fetching a gun when a smoke bomb was thrown into the room. It had stopped him from seeing the person who shot him. Thankfully enough, their vision wasn’t much better either, because the bullet only grazed his side. It was still painful as hell and blood was pouring out of the wound, but it wasn’t going to be anything deadly. 
He finally got ahold of his gun after minutes of feeling around the table to try and spot it with the low amount of vision he still had. Once Damiano had it in his hands, he raised the scarf he was wearing to cover the lower part of his face to try and lower the quantity of smoke he inhaled.
He walked out of his room and into the hallway, still holding the gun firmly ready to shoot it at the first person he saw with that red symbol. Damiano opened the door to every room on the third floor. He had to shoot at one or two people before walking down to the floor below. The first room he opened was yours. His eyes went wide as he remembered you were still supposed to be at the SC. Damiano cursed under his breath. He needed to warn you not to come back but to go to your parents’ instead. Damiano opened the tracking app first, a precaution he had been insistent on taking just to make sure you both knew the other was safe. 
“Fucking hell,” Damiano mumbled as he saw that blue dot with your name above it was right on the same spot as his. You were back home.
Every thought of investigating each and every room to make sure there was no intruder flew out the window and instead he focused on trying to find you. Everything had turned chaotic on those few minutes he had been in your room, which was why it had gotten harder to get around without finding someone waiting on almost every corner for him to appear.
Damiano heard a piercing scream that made his blood go cold. You were in danger somewhere inside the large home and he desperately needed to get to you, to make sure you were safe from any danger. He knew his friends would be perfectly fine, they had their guns and several types of weaponry close-by, but he knew you didn’t. You always refused to take a gun or dagger with you whenever you went out and if they had caught you right when you had just gotten back… you’d most likely have nothing to defend yourself with.
There was no doubt in his mind that you were witty and incredibly smart, not to mention agile and great at coming up with plans on the spot, but he still needed to make sure you were alright. 
He got down on the first floor and his eyes met with a pair of blue ones he knew far too well. He let his eyes trail down to her carmine-tinted shirt. Marlee smiled at him and trailed her thumb along her jawline. That’s when he noticed her hands were also red and she had also left a trail of bloody footsteps from his office to where she was standing. His office.
Damiano didn’t hesitate to point the gun at her leg and pull the trigger. He then aimed for her other leg and shot it. She fell to the floor as an agonizing scream fell from her parted lips. Damiano was satisfied now that her stupid smile had been wiped right off her face.
He quickly ran to the office and opened the door. What he saw inside made time stop. It made all those sounds go silent. It made him feel like there was no floor beneath him to stand on. You were lying on the floor, a dagger piercing your chest.
You looked panicked, sad, like you wanted to do nothing but scream and cry, which you had started doing the moment you saw Damiano walked into the room. He didn’t know if your reaction was out of relief or if there was something else that concerned you, apart from the obvious.
“Damiano,” You spoke up weakly, The sound of your raspy voice was like a slap back into reality. He didn’t waste a second to fall to his knees right by your side. Damiano cupped your face with his trembling hands and brushed your cheek with his thumb.
“Shh. I’m here amore, I’m here,” He responded voice barely above a whisper, “I just need to find something to press against this wound I— something…” He stood up, ready to look for a rag, bandages, anything to stop the blood from rushing out of your body so quickly, but you stopped him.
You wrapped your hand around his arm and with all the strength you had brought him back down, “No hey, stop,” You mumbled, “Unless she happened to study every major artery, vein or has awfully perfect aim, I’ll be dead in minutes.”
He shook his head and wiped the tears that were starting to fall with the back of his hand. He was not giving up. Damiano was not going to let you die, “Wait, no, no. I can do this,” Damiano took his sweater and scarf off. With the help of his scarf, he applied pressure to the wound, careful not to move or dig the dagger further with his movements.
You shook your head and Damiano couldn’t help but cry harder at the desperation and panic in your eyes, “Please, Dami. Stop it, there’s no use. I-I just want you to hold me, please.”
He wiped his runny nose with the back of his hand and nodded repeatedly as he careful cradled you in his arms and moved your head to rest on his lap, “Everything’s going to be okay,” Damiano mumbled and left a long kiss on your forehead, then another one on your cheek and a last one on your lips.
You cupped his face with one of your hands and wiped the tears with your thumb. There wasn’t much left to say, not like you’d be able to talk even if you tried. Instead, you offered him one last sincere smile with all the energy you had left. 
He watched in horror as life slowly started to drain out of you as his ring simultaneously turned black. Damiano sat there for minutes after you were gone. He cried and let every frustration, confusion, and pain escape his body with a loud scream.
Damiano didn’t let go of your body until Victoria and Thomas had to forcefully pull him away and let someone else take care of you.
— 
Ethan didn’t walk into the room until he made sure every single intruder had been killed, except for Marlee, because Damiano had asked to keep her alive. When he did walk in, all he saw was Damiano with a folder in his hand and multiple pieces of paper scattered around the desk in his room. He looked pale, mortified by everything he was reading. The long-haired man didn’t understand what had gotten his friend in such a state of shock until he walked closer and looked at what seemed to be a contract.
You were Damiano’s soulmate. All your lives you had been tricked into believing you weren’t meant for each other. Your parents had made you believe you had no soulmate and Damiano had been fooled into thinking Marlee was his. You had gotten right to the bottom of it all and the secret would’ve gone to the grave with you if you hadn’t left the papers lying on his desk and if he had left his ring on the pocket of his jeans like he usually would. But now it was far too late to do anything about it.
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mysticpetals · 3 years ago
Note
Can you please do a fluffy 42 with Lucifer and MC and their daughter pls🥺🥺
Epilogue
Pairing: Lucifer × angel!mc (Vienna)
Words: 1.2k
Genre: fluff, humor
Summary: Lucifer and his daughter plan a surprise but it doesn't go according to plan.
Prompt: 42. "Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen."
Notes: I'm soooooo sorry that it's so late but again, I can only blame exams 😭 I hope you like this fluffy oneshot 💗 couldn't really find a suitable gif so bear with me lol
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"Go on, it's okay. It looks like she's just as scared as you," Vienna nods towards a middle aged woman, who was her charge's mother. Her charge didn't even know that she existed till his father drunkenly admitted one day that he had forced her to leave them.
Now the teenager looked unsurely towards his mother from outside the cafe's window and watched as she fidgeted nervously. It was difficult to arrange the meeting, and even more difficult to get the moody teenager to agree. But looking at the hope on his face, of finally getting something he had been looking for his whole life, she was sure that she made the right decision.
"What if she doesn't like me?" He asked.
"Now why would you think that? You're her son, she'll always love you," Vienna said and the boy stood up straighter, gathering himself to head inside, but as he turned to thank the kind lady, she was nowhere to be found. He furrowed his brows and decided that she must be running late for her work and had left.
Across the street, Vienna looked as the child entered and the mother sprang up from her seat. They both shook hands awkwardly but soon, they were talking with each other, all smiles and Vienna felt that her job here was done.
She called upon the vortex to open up, and take her home to Hell, where Lucifer and their daughter must have been waiting for her. She had promised them that she'd make them pancakes when she returned home and was looking forward to spending time with her family.
The vortex opened up next to the entrance of hell and she giddily made her way to the throne room, not doubting that she'd find Lucifer and a few of his advisors arguing again about something pointless. To her surprise though, it was absolutely empty.
Vienna tilted her head in confusion as she looked around. Lucifer had made sure to take his duties seriously ever since ascending the throne after Satan and it was rare to find him slacking off. Sure he was stubborn and took a long time to actually accept anyone's suggestions but still, he had never left the throne room so early before, no matter how aggravated he was.
She walked towards their home, hoping to find someone there and wasn't disappointed when the delighted shrieks of her daughter reached her ears. She sighed in relief, the war having made her too sensitive to the smallest of things, especially since her daughter was half angel and half demon.
A demon working for them greeted her and offered to take her cloak that she had removed and she stopped him.
"It's okay. Do you know where Lucifer and my daughter are?"
The demon hesitated, shuffling nervously and Vienna suddenly felt a sense of foreboding.
"Er..no, Miss Vienna. I'm afraid not."
Right then, she heard Lucifer shouting 'get away!' and fearing the worst, she dropped the cloak and ran towards the voice, heart pounding in her chest with fear and adrenaline.
What she came upon was her daughter hiding behind a chair as Lucifer held a pan, which was on fire, away from her.
"Mom!" Livia noticed her standing at the entrance of the kitchen and abandoning her chair, ran up to her, hugging her legs.
Vienna grabbed her daughter, pushing her behind herself, as Lucifer finally put out the fire and slumped against the kitchen counter. She gave a sigh of relief when a helper demon came upon the scene and told them that she'd clean up here.
"It's fine, I'll do it," Lucifer said, waving his hand and turned towards the pan once again. Livia tugged at her mother's dress, eyes wide as if to say that she shouldn't let that happen and Vienna smiled.
"Darling, I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen."
"What? You think I'll mess this up too?" He barked defensively and Vienna shook her head.
"No, because you two troublemakers need to come with me and clean up."
Lucifer looked at his daughter who was fidgeting with Vienna's robe, already distracted from what they had been doing prior to this whole fiasco and sighed in fond exasperation.
"Fine, let's go."
"So….what were you two doing?" Vienna asked as the three of them walked towards the bathroom.
"It was dad's idea!" Her five year old exclaimed and Vienna had to stifle a laugh at the betrayed expression on Lucifer's face.
"Well, you're the one who asked me to help you surprise mom!" He countered and the two of them started bickering about who was to blame. Vienna let them argue until they reached their destination and then turned to them with a raised eyebrow.
"You're wrong! And mom believes me anyway," Livia said, a smug smile on her round face as Lucifer scoffed playfully.
"No way. I met her first which means she trusts me more."
Livia's expression dropped as she turned towards her mother with tear filled eyes and Lucifer looked panicked at seeing her like that.
"Mom? You don't believe me?"
Lucifer looked at her pleadingly but Vienna, used to her daughter's antics picked her up and set her on the bathroom counter.
"I trust you both equally. Now let's do something about that flour on your face."
Livia pouted at her mother's dismissal of her question but Lucifer was relieved to see that she no longer looked like she might cry any second.
"Didn't I tell you I'll make you pancakes after coming back? Were you that hungry?" Vienna teased her daughter as she rubbed a wet cloth on her cheeks and Livia scrunched her face.
"I wanted to make pancakes for you like you always make for us." She mumbled and Vienna's heart clenched, the love for her daughter, her family only growing more. She caught Lucifer's eyes in the mirror and he gave her a genuine smile, one that she so dearly loved.
"All done! You can go now missy, but I better not hear that you went into the kitchen again!" Vienna said and Livia struggled to get down from the counter before Lucifer helped her. She giggled in delight when he tickled her and squirmed away, running back to the hallway, the sound of her laughter trailing behind her.
"Is it my turn yet?" Lucifer smirked and Vienna rolled her eyes playfully.
"Nope. You're a big boy, do it yourself."
"Oh, come on!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her flush against him, cradling her face and kissing her gently.
"How did the assignment go?" He murmured between kisses and Vienna pulled away a little.
"Wonderful. But I see you had fun without me here." She smiled and Lucifer laughed, the sound making her smile widen.
"She's going to be the death of me," he said fondly but she could see the hesitance on his face, the doubt that he wasn't enough.
"Hey," she cupped his face and made him look at her, "you're a great dad. You're doing amazing, even though you've never had that yourself. She loves you so much, probably more than me. So don't doubt yourself."
Lucifer's expression melted into something softer and he nuzzled his face against her neck.
"I knew she loved me more."
"Lucifer!"
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laceymorganwrites · 4 years ago
Text
Period sex with Levi
Word count: 1,394
Pairing: Levi x fem!reader
Warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, unprotected sex (pls always use protection, thank u very much), ooc and bad writing but that´s a given with me <33
A/N: I´m really sorry this isn´t any better. I really suck at writing smut, even more so in characterizing Levi
You always hated staying behind on a mission. Only that this time it really was out of your control, you wouldn´t be of any use on your period.
And you knew that, it was only logical. Yet when you were alone in the headquarters you couldn´t stop worrying and wondering if everyone was alright.
You knew you weren´t useless but you still felt that way in those times, you wanted to help and look out for everyone but there was nothing you could do with those cramps.
Your head was killing you and you were just in the kitchen, drinking some tea, trying to drown out the pain.
The throbbing was horrible, making you unable to focus on anything.
Moving around didn´t help either, it just made it worse.
After a while you decided to retreat to your room and try to get some sleep, but it didn´t come to you. With every step you could feel your insides tense up, making you feel sick.
When you finally arrived at your room and flopped down onto bed you couldn´t stop moving around, being frustrated that you just couldn´t find a position that didn´t hurt.
Time moved incredibly slowly and you just wanted Levi to return and cuddle you, make the pain go away.
But he´d probably be tired after the mission. Maybe you could bribe him into taking a nap with you.
The thought made you smile slightly, your heart skipped a beat when thinking about his warm hand on your belly.
You abruptly sat up in bed when you heard the doors open after a few hours, regretting your choice immediately afterwards. Nevertheless you got out of bed, biting your tongue and making your way downstairs to greet those who have returned.
“Why aren´t you in bed?” Levi asked once he got to you, the worry in his undertone being very clear.
He went straight to your shared room with you after saying a few words to the cadets, you closed the door behind him.
“Are you feeling any better, love?” he asked, looking at you intently, but his eyes were soft and gentle.
Though they dropped when you shook your head.
“No...I tried everything but nothing works, still hurts...” you complained, whining a bit in frustration.
“Oh darling, I wish I could help you. I want to have you in my arms so bad right now, but I´m still dirty. I´ll hurry underneath the shower and then I´ll try to make it better, alright?” Levi looked at you with the utmost concern, he hated seeing you in pain and even more he hated being unable to do anything about it, all he could provide were empty words.
At the mere thought of him in the shower you squeezed your legs together, biting your lip, making him raise an eyebrow and chuckle a bit.
He could read you like a book, it has been a while since the last time you had sex, time alone together was rare as it was, but Levi didn´t have a high libido, though he was always more than willing to please you whenever you needed and wanted it.
“The warm water will help you, don´t you think?” he smirked and his eyes glistened when you nodded.
“Join me. Though… I can´t promise you won´t get dirty, you don´t mind, do you?” he asked, his voice getting lower by the second.
You shook your head, getting undressed with him, watching his back muscles and shoulders as he took off his shirt.
It was a simple motion, something he did every day and yet it never failed to stir up your insides. Levi was incredibly handsome even though he didn´t think so.
It wasn´t like he was insecure, well, too much anyway, he simply didn´t care about his looks.
He didn´t care about the looks of anyone, he never thought they mattered. But then again, he hadn´t met you at this point.
You walked into his life and stayed unlike everyone else. And unlike most people, Levi wanted you to stay.
And fuck did you show him what beautiful meant, you were a goddess in his eyes, the most beautiful woman to ever walk the earth.
The man worshiped you beyond anything else. He never got why people were physically attracted to each other, much less the intimacy of love.
But you taught him so much, he could never take his eyes off you.
Physical contact scared him before he met you, but now all he wanted was for you to play with his hair, to rest your head on his chest, fuck, he wanted to touch you too. Voluntarily.
Even on your period.
And especially now, now that he had such a good excuse, not that he needed one.
Levi always appreciated you for everything you were, he didn´t get horny too often but when he did he couldn´t hold back.
He needed you then and there, never minding the blood.
Period sex was never something Levi thought about even considering but now it just seemed like the best thing in the world.
His eyes were fixated on you as he pulled you into the shower with him, turning on the warm water.
Levi just couldn´t help but softly caress the small of your back, tracing his fingers over your spine, watching your lips part and your eyes darken with lust.
His mouth got dry as he reached your breasts, ever so gently moving his hands over your nipples, he knew how sensitive they were in this time of month.
He noticed how your breath hitched and smiled slightly, caressing your hips and waist with his thumbs, they were rough and calloused but those were the reasons it felt so good.
Levi moved his hand to your aching pussy, circling his thumb over your clit, applying just the right amount of pressure to send waves of pleasure through your body.
You moaned slightly and pulled him closer to you to kiss him passionately, he kissed back just as eagerly while inserting one finger inside of you, enjoying the familiar warmth, now only amplified by the blood.
You moved your hips in rhythm with him as he soon added another finger, slipping inside with ease.
He moved them both rather fast, pressing against your walls and that sweet spot that made your legs shake, meanwhile he was still working on your clit.
You reached out for him, feeling up his abs before moving to his cock and giving it a few good pumps.
Levi groaned and looked you deep in the eyes as he removed his fingers from your bloody pussy, leaving you wanting more for the small moment of emptiness.
He cleaned them underneath the shower head and then positioned himself between your legs where he hooked them around his waist to get better access.
You moaned slowly as he inserted himself into you, with such ease and care it made your heart jump.
You could feel your insides relax a bit, your cramps slowly were becoming more and more dull, not as sharp and painful anymore.
Levi moved slowly at first, as always he was gentle but steady. Deep thrusts and eye contact made you feel dizzy and all you could do was loosely wrap your arms around his strong shoulders and hold on.
You moaned and Levi grunted, he was quieter in bed but that never bothered you, you could still always tell when he felt good.
With each passing moment his thrust became faster and he continued to hit all the right spots, only adding to it was that he kept kissing you passionately and nibbling on your shoulder and neck a bit, not quite leaving marks.
You couldn´t hold back any longer and came with a loud cry of his name, he groaned deeply and filled his seed inside of you.
After you both caught your breaths again he proceeded to kiss you softly and wash you before leading you out of the shower to dry you and him.
“Do you feel any better, dear?” he asked you, the gentle warmth and concern never leaving his voice. “Not quite” you said, leading him to bed and laying down with him, you put his hand on your stomach and smiled at him.
“Now I do” you grinned and he chuckled a bit, kissing your forehead.
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leejeongz · 4 years ago
Text
jealous treasure (hyunsuk-jaehyuk)
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requested: yes, by anon
🔅hiii! thanks for requesting. sorry this took so long 😭 i wrote it all and the. decided i didn’t like what i wrote so i had a breakdown and started again. but nevertheless here we are. I hope you like it! i made jihoon’s a little longer since idk he was the one this was based off of🔅
⛱ a/n no. 2 i’m gonna use another member in each one because it’s easier than making up a whole new person and explaining a bit about them for each one if that makes sense. but this is just for fun, it’s fictitious, remember that pls⛱
find the other members here
🪐 hyunsuk:
having never met his closest friends before, you wanted to dress nicely on the day. you grabbed the accessories that you had laid out the night before that went perfectly with your outfit and put them on while admiring how great you looked in the mirror.
upon arriving at the diner, you spotted your boyfriend and his friends sat closely together. you slowly walked over to their booth, not wanting to seem too eager. your boyfriend stood up and flashed you a smile before pointing for you to sit next to a boy dressed in blue and while, who you later found out was named mashiho. you ordered from the menu together and started to chat amongst yourselves.
“so what do you do, y/n?” the boy next to you asked while hyunsuk was distracted.
“i’m a student, but i work part time. actually i work just over the road” you pointed to the sports shop over the way.
“i think i’ve seen you in there before, sorry i didn’t recognise you, you look so different when you’re not wearing their fluorescent uniform,” he smiled, pointing to the bright trainers you now remember selling him a few weeks ago.
“oh that was you?” you laughed loud enough to catch hyunsuk’s attention, who’s smile faded as he glanced at the pair of you bonding “nice taste” you complimented mashiho.
“not as nice as mine though, right?” hyunsuk piped up, while brushing the shoulder of his shirt.
“it’s not a competition” you smiled, awkwardly, not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings.
“but if it was…” one of his other friends spoke. you made a mental note that from now on, you hated that guy.
you thought about your response for a while. mashiho looked disinterested, too busy picking the crispiest fries from his plate. your boyfriend, however, looked a little helpless, he was practically begging with his eyes for you to compliment him.
“then i think my boyfriend would win. hyunsuk has better taste than anyone, and i think we can all agree” you rattled on, face burning, knowing that the others around the table thought you were just sucking up to him.
“well of course, i fell for you, baby” hyunsuk winked in your direction while his friends made exaggerated heaving noises at your cringiness as a couple.
🌸 jihoon:
you have the pettiest boyfriend, you know it, he knows it, everyone knows it. he gets jealous even at the tiniest things, but it’s kind of endearing. your graduation was no exception, he really wanted to be happy all afternoon, but seeing you with so many guys hugging you while you cried tears of joy, made him mad, that should be him.
to treat you (and also to show off to everyone that you were his) he took you to the bar in town that you liked the most. you sat down at the table for two and scanned over the menu, wondering why you were even looking, knowing you were going to order the same thing as always. you told jihoon what you wanted as you could see the waiter getting nearer to your table, he always ordered for you when you asked him to.
“y/n” you heard coming from behind you. you turned around to see a familiar face, junghwan, and following behind him, a friend of his that you’d once met in passing.
“i saw that you graduated today! congratulations!” he spoke, indicating that you stand for a hug. meanwhile, jihoon ordered, but not without side eyeing you and this boy.
“can we join a table onto ours please and make it sit 4 people?” you asked the waiter who nodded and did as you requested without a fuss.
jihoon shot you the darkest stare at you sat opposite to him. “our order will be out way before theirs” he snarled quietly.
“it’s fine we can bring them out at the same time” the waiter smiled at him upon hearing your boyfriends petty remark.
“thanks” jihoon replied sarcastically, the smile on his face showing clear signs that the waiter needs to back off now.
“so why are you here?” junghwan asked “you should be going out partying, is he not letting you?” he looked over a jihoon after joking around with you a little.
“there are no parties to go to” you frowned, “but i’d rather spend my days with jihoon, and now you guys, than with my classmates anyway” you bubbled. you looked over once again at your boyfriend, who’s expression was still as stern as when they'd arrived. you kicked at his leg gently and flashed him a warm smile, hoping he’d mimic it and look at least a little genuine with it.
“i’m going to the bathroom, order quickly” jihoon told the pair. you glared at him as he walked off, all while still trying to participate in the conversation. jihoon returned with an obviously fake smile, yet it was an improvement so you went along with it. to your surprise, jihoon had managed to endure 3 drinks before deciding it was time to leave and go home with you, which you were more than happy to do since the bar was getting pretty full. you said your goodbye to the two friends with a small hug, while jihoon watched from the side. “come on” he rolled his eyes as he watched your arms wrap around junghwan’s shoulders.
leaving the bar, jihoon’s hand engulfed yours. “there has got to be some kind of reward for spending 90 minutes with them. oh and for watching all of those other guys hug you” he whispered into your ear “i’m sure you’ll think of something”. he laughed a little and pressed a warm kiss against your cheek. you smirked, knowing the perfect way to show him that you were all his, now almost too eager to get home.
⚡️ yoshi:
“it’s just what we needed” yoshi relaxed back onto the sofa, stretching an arm out to the side and wrapping it around you casually. you threw the remote onto the coffee table and nestled into your boyfriend. today was movie day, a full marathon of romcoms, chosen by you.
the first movie, you cried. the second, you cried again. however, by the third, you’d gotten a little bit bored. you pulled your phone from your back pocket, your fidgeting catching yoshi’s attention.
“hey what’s wrong?” he asked, his question fading as he read your notifications. “why did haruto ring you-“ he paused to check the number “4 times?” he didn’t think too much of it. you guys were friends, your boyfriend just wanted to know the gossip.
you called him back straight away, leaving your boyfriend clueless. he waited patiently as you spoke on the phone. “no way!” you let out with a smile “i’ll be there in a second” you got up, wafting your hand so that yoshi would follow.
“what why?” he stayed put, waiting for a response.
“he said he’s got a surprise for me” you rushed, getting your coat on as quickly as possible. yoshi, once again, sat back in his comfortable position, which you knew meant that he was not moving any time soon.
“but what about our movie day” he whined and sulked. you rolled your eyes knowing he wouldn’t stop for anything, you had to give in. you slowly started removing your jacket, pulling your phone out of the pocket and launching it towards the sofa.
“i’ll just text him and tell him to give it to me, the love of your life, okay?” he continued “gosh he knew it was our day, he should have left us alone instead of distracting you”
you smiled at his hint of jealousy, hoping it wouldn’t be the last you ever saw, because honestly, his mini tantrum was rather cute.
🌟 junkyu:
“what homework is that? what subject?” junkyu shuffled through your sheets of paper over your shoulder with a pout while you worked.
“considering i study japanese i think it would be pretty wild if it was the timeline of the spanish armada, don’t you?” you snapped unexpectedly, you’re not even sure why you said it in the tone you did.
“i was just making conversation” he slumped onto the bed while pulling a face behind your back, only then noticing the familiar young boy on your phone screen. “oh, you’re calling someone, i’ll leave, give you some privacy” he pouted once again, dragging himself from your bed. “clearly i'm not needed here”
you turned to asahi, the boy you were calling, who was generously helping with your work, as he avoided eye contact with you. you stared at the small image of yourself in the corner, biting your lip with guilt.
“i’m sorry junkyu, i didn’t mean to snap” you admitted, throwing your head into your hands as soon as the words left your mouth. you’d be kind of stressed lately with all the learning, but that doesn’t mean you can take it out on your boyfriend, you thought.
“it’s okay, you shouldn’t be nice to me when your handsome tutor is calling, i understand” he rolled his eyes and tutted with a hint of exaggeration. it didn’t take long for him to register what had just happened though, as a few seconds later you felt his arms wrap around you from the back and a gentle kiss placed on top of your head. he turned off the call and whispered an almost silent “sorry”.
“i only called him to help with this one passage.”
“you don’t need to explain to me. but why didn’t you ask me for help?” he blew his cheeks up and pouted in a way that was even bigger than before. “i'm really good at japanese” he boasted
“junkyu, sweetie, next time maybe” you giggled, finally regaining the power to sit up again slightly. “but your jealousy was kinda cute, so maybe i will call mashiho next time”
“don’t even think about it” he hushed you in a harsh, yet sarcastic tone.
☀️ mashiho:
it was pretty rare that mashiho got jealous, or that he told you/showed you that he was at least. you and doyoung actually spent a lot of time together these days and your boyfriend never seemed to mind so you never stopped. but little did you know, he’d just about reached breaking point. he was tired of you “not being able to meet up with him” because you’d already made arrangements with doyoung to do something. he wanted to do those things with you.
“where are you going? you don’t usually dress like that on a sunday?” he questioned as you headed towards the door.
“i told you, doyoung and i are gonna watch that movie today. i can’t go in my pjs” you replied.
“oh with doyoung, i should have guessed” he rolled his eyes, leaning back against the sofa. he pulled his phone from his pocket, ready to text one of his friends once again to ask if they wanted to do something.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” you turned your head back to look at him. he looked hot like that, but you didn’t think right now was the time to bring it up.
“you’re always doing things with him. would it be so wrong if you went and watched a movie with me?” he asked as you walked towards him, ready to hug him and apologise. you thought for a moment, realising that you had been spending more time with doyoung than your own boyfriend, but was it really all that bad? you sat besides him and placed his phone on the sofa so he had nothing to do other than talk to you about this.
“so i can’t see my friends?” you snapped back at him in a higher pitch, even though he wasn’t shouting at you. his eyes softened and his right eye filled with tears, shortly followed by his left. you refused to look at him, half in anger, half in shame.
“that’s not what i meant, you know that. just go, have fun” he ran his hand down your arm while you sat in silence. it really was that bad. you didn’t want to be THAT couple who never did anything together.
“do you want to come with?” you smiled.
“maybe, only if we, you and i, can go bowling afterwards, alone” he replied as if he was still mad.
“of course!” you exclaimed, it was an offer you couldn't refuse. upon hearing your response, mashiho grabbed your hand, leading you to his room which was full of clothes.
“now, which tshirt matches with yours the best?” he hummed.
❄️ jaehyuk:
more than the party itself, wayyy more than the party itself, you enjoyed having your friends over beforehand to get ready and vibe with. tonight you expected only your boyfriend but he ended up bringing along another friend too, yedam, who you were actually pretty close to, he even introduced you to jaehyuk in the first place.
both had gotten changed pretty quickly in the bathroom while you slipped into your outfit in your bedroom. you were just applying a layer of lipstick when you heard a knock at the door.
“can i come in?” yedam asked.
you shouted a “yes” and he did so. his outfit was all black except for the flannel he’d thrown on, his hair was a little messy and his boots were untied.
“look at my nails” he smiled brightly, offsetting his outfit perfectly. “i just painted them so they’re wet, and jaehyuk is doing his business in there. can you tie my shoes for me, please?” he begged. you agreed and offered your chair as a place for him to put his shoe. “tight trousers” he shrugged, leaving you with no other option but to get down on the floor and tie them, it was a good job it was yedam, you thought.
“get up” jaehyuk’s voice could be heard from a mile away, despite how softly spoken he is. you stood up and looked over at him with wide eyes “oh i thought you were proposing” he laughed, playing the whole thing off as a joke. “let me, i don’t want your outfit to get dirty, which might i add looks extremely good, honey” he complimented while getting down on the floor to tie his friends' laces.
“yoon jaehyuk, are you jealous?” you smirked, looking over at yedam, who was smiling too.
“no, i just don’t want your outfit to get messed up, i just said that” he lied once again. “but if you were proposing yeah, i think i’d be pretty jealous” he continued.
297 notes · View notes
weasleyswhor3 · 4 years ago
Text
“I’ll treat you better”- George Weasley x reader
Request; Can I request 48 with Georgie pls
Warnings; Smut
A/N; I’m really not a fan of this but I needed to post a fic, sorry the end is AWFUL :(
Word count; 1k
Standing there, 30 minutes passed, no show. You had arrange to meet Ethan, a ravenclaw boy you had kissed at a party the other week, now standing in the courtyard, alone, accepting he wasn’t going to show. Sighing you began to walk back to the common room, why did this always happen to you, boy after boy used you, had their way with you for one night then never spoke to you again. It was disheartening now, you were leaving school next year and were still yet to find your “high school sweetheart”. Corridors empty and dark, just the flickering lights guiding you, you whisper the password and climb though the portrait. 
A voice interrupts your silent sulk, “Knew you’d be back soon enough”,  the voice being immediately recognised as your best friend, George. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you snapped, “You know what I mean Y/N, it’s happened one too many times. You get with a boy, they promise to see you, they leave you alone.” He was right. He was always right. Breaking down the barrier you had built up, dropping your head and letting tears run down your face. George stands up and approaches you, “I’m sorry darling I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he grabs you into his towering embrace, “No George it wasn’t you, you’re right anyway, i’m never enough for them , I just want to be loved,” your tears soaking a small patch on his jumper as your hands clung around his hips. “Oh Y/N, angel, you are so so loved, you just have an awful habit for going after those who don’t” he chuckles, a soft giggle leaving your lips after, “Come, sit with me,” he grabs your hand bringing you to the sofa placed in front of the fire.
 “Y/N, don’t waste your tears on them boys, they aren’t worth it, you deserve someone who will remind you every day how amazing you are” now he has his arm wrapped around your shoulder, rubbing circles on your arm. “I just don’t understand George, why can’t I find someone who wants for me,” dropping your head further into his shoulder, “Y/N, are you blind? can’t you see?...I want you for you,” 
Your heart drops as you register the words coming from your best friends mouth, “What are you on about?” you whip your head to look at him face to face, “I want you, come on Y/N, you know I could treat you better than anyone else in this school, I love you, for you.” 
Without time to second guess yourself you launch forward, catching his lips in a kiss, that if anyone ever told you was coming, you wouldn’t believe them. George responding happily by placing a hand on your waist, pulling you towards him, deepening the kiss.��
“George-“ you mumbled as you pulled yourself away from him, “Please, just let me prove to you I can treat you like the princess you are, give me a chance,” You were absolutely taken back by the worlds spilling from his mouth, not only was he undeniably handsome, he was also your absolute best friend, always there for you and cared the most, what could possibly give you a reason to say no. 
“Okay, yeah, okay” you stuttered, “Yeah?, you’ll give me a chance?” you watched his face light up, “Yeah Georgie, i’m all yours” you smile at his beaming face, bringing his hands back up to grab your face, pulling you back in for another kiss. Things began to heat up as you two continue to make-out, soon his large hands push you down so you are lying underneath him on the sofa, his hands firmly placed on your waist, you release a moan into the kiss, uncontrolled, George removes himself from the kiss to look at you with a smirk on his face, “You sounds so pretty princess, can I hear it again?” never once breaking his eye contact with you, “You’re going to have to make me.”
His eyes darken at your words, diving straight back into kiss you, now only one hand trailing down from your waist to caress your thigh, rubbing it slowly, you whine at the teasing,  “Yes Y/N, keep letting me know when you feel good,” you never expected George to be so comfortable saying these things to you, not that you were complaining, you were beyond turned on. 
“Please Georgie, please,” the words escaping your lips caused immediate action as George pressed a finger to your jeans over your how hot core. Teasing for a moment before undoing your button and slipping his hand down the front of your jeans, fingers grazing where you craved him. “Stop teasing!” you whisper-yelled at George who simply let out a laugh before finally running his long fingers through your soaking core, you moan out instantly, throwing your head back into the cushions below you, “Fuck, I could listen to you for the rest of my life” he mutters against the skin of your neck, kissing it right in a spot that sent pleasure shooting through you. 
His fingers slowing guided themselves into you, feeling the wetness formed just from him, “Have they ever touched you like this?” George whispers into your ear, continuing to move his fingers in and out of your hole. “No Georgie, no ones ever made me feel this good” and with that you came all over his fingers, letting out a moan you were sure could of woke up those sleeping up the stairs, but in your blissful state, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 
George removes his hand from your jeans, bringing his digits up to his mouth, sucking them clean, you watched in disbelief. “You’re incredible Y/N, I won’t ever let you feel like you aren’t.”
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stellaestra · 4 years ago
Text
how would stray kids interact with mc in high school if they ever met? // high school au headcanons [stray kids/reader]
pairing: skz hyung line + mc [reader]
description: who would mc interact with in high school if they ever met? what kind of interactions would they have? // bulletpoints headcanons + small snippets
genre: platonic, high school au, friendship, humour, hurt/comfort
author’s note: this could be a stand alone or not, the mc is the same bodyguard/intern au!mc...it's just a "what ifs" kinda thing, fellas
p.s. some of the scenarios are based off real life events that happened to me in high school but i overly exaggerated some of them for the shit and giggles,, tell me which event actually happened to me in the askbox lmao I'm curious
pls I'm funny i swear
cw: minor swearing, just teenagers being teenagers, idiots, mention of blood (?) uhh mentions of violence (??)
unedited
// no beta read, we’ll die like men
---
bang chan
mc is a '00 liner,
she doesn't interact with her seniors pt.1
to interact with them; it would have to be a school event or a collab project between the seniors and the juniors
possibly would be approached first by chan during sports day or a school festival for something
he thought that she's a pretty decent track runner when he saw sprint during the sports day track event
after that incident, chan would greet her in the hallways or wherever if he ever comes across her
mc would always awkwardly greet him back
“hey! you’re that really fast track runner, you did great that day!” chan complimented her in the hallways. out loud.
mc prays to whoever above there that chan would stop talking so loud as she could feel her face burn when she felt eyes on her.
cue to her awkwardly smiling at him and nodding, “yep, that’s me, yes, alright, senior chan.”
chan finds her adorable ever since that first few encounters
he also found out that she hangs out with felix just as much as he does
(love rivals (for felix) arc when)
he doesn’t know who to be envious of
that mc gets to spend so much time with lix or
felix being able to spend so much time with her
the never-ending saga
(love rivals (for felix) arc turned into possible rivals to friends arc)
(okay, im joking)
their respective friends group made a running joke
about how chan and mc are love rivals for felix
(it eventually became theirs as well)
(it's funny)
once he made her go off-tangent about felix
she was really passionate about his freckles and smile
for a moment
he really did think that she has a crush on him
no surprises there tho
felix IS absolutely cute
(friends arc?? omg, all for felix, HA)
he really really finds her adorable
he could go on for days
esp her little habit of covering her mouth when she speaks
sweater paws bc he almost always sees her with a jacket on even if it was a hot day
it's like a second skin on her
he once asked her if she ever removes her jacket
“only when im on school ground or during school events like assembly, i’ll take it off, senior chan.”
“eh? don’t you feel warm underneath that during a hot day?”
“...i do remove it sometimes, i guess...but i like wearing it bc it’s comforting.”
one time chan saw her without her jacket and wears short-sleeves uniform, he really wanted to shower her in his affections n also it’s such a rare sight that he almost couldnt recognized her
“haha hey, you didn’t wore your jacket today!”
“they’re in the laundry and...today’s a hot day...unfortunately, haah.”
he once tried to ruffle her hair but found her dodging his hand so fast at breakneck speed
that he was kinda concerned
she told him that her hair hasn't been washed yet so it's dirty
but the thing is: she told him every time he tried to ruffle her hair
“you’re not letting me pat your head on purpose.”
“senior chan, i wouldn’t do such a thing.” he noticed the little teasing smile before it disappeared.
he wondered briefly if she has always been this playful and cheeky with others her age
chan is aware that she speaks formally towards him out of habit though so he lets it slide and let her take her time growing comfortable with him.
he knew she was lying but let's her be anyway
bc she's his cute little junior
---
lee minho
another case of mc's "no seniors juniors interaction"
minho’s very attractive so mc will definitely avoid him at all cost
plus, he looks intimidating to her so bye bye
to not step on any of her classmates' landmines that has the hots for him
drama isn't her thing, she already witness a handful and even got thrown into the fire as fuel before
no thank you she liked having her life in high school as peaceful as possible
mc would make her conversations with him very short n blunt
she's not gonna catch anyone's hands today, my dudes
really, she doesn’t
minho thinks of her like a small kitten that needs to be taken care of
bc of how she always scutters away from chan whenever he’s with him
if they ever interact
it would be when the juniors have the collab with their seniors
like a science fair, where the students have to come up with things to showcase
his class coincidentally collabs with her class for that particular event
he told chan about it and he have never seen chan pout and deflate like that
the only person he does that to is felix...if not, it’s jeongin.
chan sure adores this little junior other than felix huh…
then again, felix and mc does hangout a lot and so does jisung and her
so he took this chance as to know more abt her
coughs because jisung seems to be talking a lot about her coughs
(minho + mc love rivals (for jisung) arc pt. 2 when)
(mc really about to fight 2 seniors because she's stealing their respective juniors huh)
(the never-ending saga of love rivals)
he approached her inside that shared classroom for the collab event
she looked constipated when he approached her group of friends
even more so when he directly asked for name and whatnot
it kinda made him want to tease her even more now
he found out her name and what they were planning to do
heard her cursing under her breath
he decided to join their group on the whim
found out that mc is just a little shy whenever he approached her
her friends are somewhat protective of her
he got glared at by one of them once when he wanted to greet mc in the hallways
and mc kind of hid half of herself behind them
so whenever she’s on her own, he would try to approach her as slowly as possible
like. dealing with a cat and you’re a stranger trying to gain their trust
what he never will forget nor stop teasing her was about
her spinning on her heels to walk into the direction she was previously coming from
just to avoid him
he couldn't help but find it hilarious
he won her over when he brings the topic of cats wandering around their school campus
saw how her eyes lit up brightly
“the stray cats here are fun to play with, right?”
“yeah, me and friends decided to name a few of them too!”
he mentioned it to her because he saw her playing with the cats when she was waiting for someone or when she has time to play with them during recess
and the ramblings of a high schooler about cats commences
he wasn’t bothered about how much she talked
would nod along with what she says
because wow, shes really passionate about cats
that's a huge bonus for minho
and that was how minho adopted another kitten
whenever they weren’t busy with their own things, they would play with the cats together
playdate with cats <3
she would tell him that one particular grey cat was called
“this cat’s name is miss universe! they’re so cute, right?” she picked the cat up and cuddle with it, eyes sparkling with joy
“why did you guys name them that?”
“because why not?”
“fair enough point.”
and she laughs
he was glad that she stopped being so cautious around him if he was being honest
since the way chan was talking about her so affectionately made him really curious about her
casually mentions that jisung talks about her a lot
expected her to be bashful about it
but all she does was
“oh, cool, what did he say? I’m a weeb? Hah, he’s the same as I am” + "he should've said to it my face, senior minho, hmph"
so making her flustered backfired on him
poor minho
here’s your “you tried” star
mwah
so yeah, minho adopted a new cat (his little junior)
---
seo changbin
same case as the two above, unfortunately
if they do ever interact, it's short and pleasantries
mc does kinda find him intimidating to certain extent
she's not good with dealing with intimidating looking people
but when he smiles, her shoulders feel less tense when she interacts with him
thinks of him as a pretty cool senior
he made her listen to his rap once n she told him that he's so cool n that stuck with him for days
imagine a junior telling you that you're so cool with that starry-eyed expression
your ego would go off the rooftop
after that, changbin would make it out of his way to greet her in the hallways
RAP MUSIC BUDDIES???? POTENTIAL
pat her on the head occasionally
if she doesn't dodge like hell away from his hands
“why do you keep avoiding them”
“no, don’t pat me, you’re treating me like a cat”
“I’m not?” lies, ever since minho told him that she reminds him of a cat, he really thought about it more
“you have that same look minho gives me when he tries to pat me…hyung…”
“we’re really going to make you call us oppa one day, watch us”
“um, yeah, no.”
“let your cute senior pat your head!!”
“im gonna run away!”
he knows that the younger ones in their friend group do interact with her
esp felix and jisung
for innie’s circumstances, that’s different
she does comes to him every once in awhile to abuse her title of his cute little junior to get a chance to listen to a teaser of his raps or songs he composes
found out that she does like rap songs! a lot more than he thought
they became those friends who shares new songs they found out and share it with each other
even at ungodly hours like 2am in the morning
that would not stop them
“this song reminds me of you”
“hey hey hey listen to this, psst”
“This shit SLAPS, go listen or else im gonna fight you in the school hallway, coward”
he became smug about it and boast about his knowledge to 3racha
jisung complained that he thought she only listened to anime songs or soft indie songs because he saw her playlists before
changbin told them that she has other playlists that’s for more “intense and aggressive” songs
they were floored and the conversation starts like this,
“what do you mean she likes listening to yours and ours music and raps?”
“im not kidding, she does! she even showed me her playlists that were filled with rap, rock and metal songs!!”
“my little mc? likes those songs? are you sure you’re not dreaming?”
“it’s a public playlist, i even followed her playlists”
“If you’re wrong, hyung, im really gonna fight you on this! bc I KNOW her first”
“doesn’t mean that you know her BETTER”
lots of petty bickerings
chan and jisung has a big revelation about mc that day at school
(there goes mc’s little rep within their group of friends)
he did warned them to not tell her that he told them about it and
that they actually are aware of her music taste
or else
she tried to rap really fast one time, trying to rap like how he does
he had to witness her biting her tongue live
changbin would never think someone like her would have
such a vulgar language
every profanity he knows came out of her mouth
he quickly got her something to soothe her wounded tongue
after fretting over her though, he started teasing her
relentlessly
she threatened to sue him
"I'll sue you"
"with what money?"
"my 2 fucking dollars lunch money!"
"that's not enough to pay anything, not even your attorney!"
"fight me!"
he’s that older brother figure that mc would come to whenever she has no one to tell her woes to
their relationship turned out to have lots of playful banters and teasings
he gives very comforting hugs and pats
mc doesn’t want to admit it tho
well, until, changbin caught her snuggling into his hugs one fine day
“admit it, you like them, you like my hugs”
“okay, fine, i DO like them, they’re great hugs, don’t let it go to your head.”
“I KNEW IT”
“You’re so loud, shut up, hyung!”
“OH MY GOD, YOU FINALLY ADMIT TO IT, IM GONNA TELL THE WORLD-KSDFNKSDNF-”
"FUCK- I SAID, SHUSH"
rip in peace, changbin
he didn’t expect someone like her would have so much strength to smother his mouth with her hand and shut it
the more you know
curiousity killed the cat????
---
hwang hyunjin
avoidance at all cost (pt.2) despite being in the same year
why? exhibit a: he's considered very attractive in her year and that her classmates n batch mates have crushes on him
coughs one of the school princes coughs
their batch year prince
she's really gonna swerve away from him
interactions will be kept at a bare minimum
one time hyunjin n some others wanted to borrow a textbook from their class because they have forgotten theirs n he chose hers
she could feel cold sweat forming as she feels the death stare of some of her classmates
that gta [wasted] sfx whenever ur character dies
yeah that's mc
that was probably the last time she would even think about it
when he returned it back to her, he smiled at her, the really cute eye smile and she felt like she made the target on her back bigger lol
goodbye mc you've lived a good life
your friends will definitely will play never gonna give you up during your funeral (it's a promise)
jokes aside
hyunjin would probably noticed the panicked look in her eyes and wondered why
since his friends like felix and...jisung...and seungmin are like on good terms with her
he probably wondered about it a lot
borderlines on overthinking since both felix and jisung are particularly close to her
so she should know that he’s friends with them
ever since that encounter, it would come across his head whenever he saw her hanging out freely with felix or jisung or both of them
or when he come across her in the hallways
sometimes he wants to greet her but it feels like it would scare her away
esp when she looks ready to run into the opposite direction
if he ever made eye contact with her
so his plan to befriend mc has started
tried to join into the trio hangout; jisung, felix and mc
mc never did protest his presence like at all
but does occasionally look stiff when he's near her
eventually shes comfortable enough with him
but not enough to actually hang out with him alone though
that thought kind of made him feel envious towards the other boys
and a little left out
as a teenager, he has too many emotions to handle so
jisung and felilx caught the idea and told him to let her
take her time because she kinda. shy. (???)
that didn't stop him from mulling over it tho sometimes
one day he found her waiting at the bus stop
it was in the evening, she was still in her school uniform
he was kinda on an errand run too
kinda didn’t want to sit on the same bench as her
afraid that she might run away
she noticed him standing there eventually albeit very anxiously and kinda awkward
a casual greeting slipped past her lips which shocked hyunjin to his very core
he splutters back a reply
“on an errand run, errand boy?"
"huh?"
“uh, um, pretend that i didn’t say anything.”
“right, sure, but may i sit next to you, the bus seemed to be late and my legs are kinda tired.”
“oh, uh, yeah, sure, but you didn’t have to ask, y’know?”
“well, didn’t wanna scare you off…"
“it’s nothing personal, if that’s what you’re worried about,” + “it’s just. didn’t wanna step on a landmine and the girls in our batch seemed to adore you a lot and me being close to you might set off the wrong signal…?”
“that’s absurd, you’re...being unreasonable..i mean, its none of their business-!”
“i know, im sorry, my bad, it’s not your fault either, it’s not anyone’s fault, to be honest.”
for a moment, he found her reasoning to be petty and unreasonable until it finally clicks inside her head, from her point of view when he really thought it through.
“...no wait, im sorry, i think, i kinda get why when i really thought about it.”
“yeah, it’s no biggie, don’t worry, im sorry too, we’ll both get over it”
“...um, we’re friends, right?”
“...i suppose so, if you dont mind, dummy.”
a giddy smile crossed his face while mc struggles to not stare at him looking so cute like that as she coughs into her hand, avoiding eye-contact
pretty boys have too much power in their hands
and she’s one of their fallen victims towards their charms
this isn’t fair for her heart
so when the bus arrived
they sat beside each other on the bus
hyunjin did most of the chattering while mc listens
he was so glad he cleared smth up with her
if she allows it, he would definitely tried to hug her
until he remembers that one time changbin told him he almost got punch in the face by her
when he tried doing it the first time and startled her
yeah no not now
maybe sometime in the near future, a long-awaited hug would be great
(if he was honest tho, he really wanted to cry when she told him the truth)
(it felt like a heartache)
but it’s okay now though
they’re friends now (somewhat) and that’s all that matters
---
[masterlist]
96 notes · View notes
bellasxswan · 4 years ago
Text
~ Bella vs Hermione's book ~
Pairing: Bellamione
Warnings: pure smut // maybe some very slight domination but i'd say it's rather rougher topping // a bit of choking (not very heavy but present through most of it... i think you can enjoy even if you are not particularly into it, but if you positively dislike it, maybe don't give this a read. i want to emphasize that this is a *fantasy* so please do not like, scream at me for not writing it as accurately as it should be done in real life and do NOT educate yourself on it from porn, please, go watch Evie Lupine or something)
~~~
Huge, dark library. Shelves stacked with dusty books, some of them have finger marks in places where they were recently touched. No one had read in this library for so long, not after Bellatrix left home. It's only recently that Hermione regularly started visiting the lonely Malfoy manor and brought warmth between those freezing cold walls.
She is sitting curled up in a cozy armchair, a light brown blanket covering her legs, a cardigan on her back. Light cracking coming from the fireplace, the fire making her eyes sparkle while she is reading. The book is written in ancient runes - she has worked on her fluency in reading runes after she left Hogwarts, she barely needs a dictionary any more.
Lost in some ancient story, she doesn't notice the black haired witch tiptoeing towards her, stopping right behind the armchair and peering down into the book. The witch rolls her eyes. She loves reading herself, but ancient runes? She doesn't know how Hermione does it, that girl has endless patience.
She rests her forearms on the top of the armchair, intertwining her fingers, a smug smirk on her face even before Hermione springs to her feet, terrified.
"Bella! Don't ever do that again!"
She casts a scolding look at Bellatrix, but a smile spreding on her face reveals her true emotions. Still, she rolls her eyes and sinks back into the armchair, pulling her blanket back up, trying to find the paragraph she was reading before she was interrupted.
Bellatrix reaches down, grabbing her cheeks and trying to make Hermione meet her gaze.
"What?"
"Oh come on, you've been reading for hours?" - Bella pouts.
"It's a fascinating book and I can finally read runes, let me enjoy it!"
"You need rest".
"I'll get rest once I finish this chapter".
Bellarix lets Hermione's cheeks go and moves in front of the witch.
"And maybe you can get rest now, because I think you girlfriend needs some attention and feels a bit jealous of that book being on you lap instead of her".
"I will give you all my attention once I-" - Hermione tries, but Bellatrix is already pushing her shoulders back and climbing on top of her. Just like she always does, and Hermione can't help the heat dispersing though her body, and she closes the book and lets it float back to the shelf.
Bellatrix is already kissing her neck, not wasting any time before she starts sucking and biting on the senstive flesh and Hermione is moaning from that sensation alone. She feels Bella smiling, and then she feels the luscious lips connecting with hers, the harsh tongue demanding access she gladly gives.
Hermione gets lost under the witch's weight, letting Bella's tongue dominate her. She blindly finds Bellatrix's thighs squeezing around her and glides her hands up, eliciting soft moans from the woman.
Bella snakes her hand up Hermione's back and neck and grabs a fistful of hair, yanking and exposing the already marked neck she attacks with her mouth again. She licks down the collarbones, unbuttoning Hermione's cardigan. She scratches the younger witch's stomach under her shirt, grabbing her breast with her other hand. She looks, eyes filled with lust, at Hermione who is lost in pleasure, breathing heavily and already squirming. Bellatrix lowers herself onto the witch again and ghosts her lips over Hermione's ear, loosening the grip on her hair, slowly letting it go.
"Unbutton your pants".
Hermione feels her core soaking at the order. She clumsily finds the desired button, shaky hands removing any obstacle for Bellatrix to take her. Two fingers find their way into Hermione's mouth and she sucks eagerly, there's a hint of dark chocolate and cherry, Bella must have made that delicious cake again.
With her other hand, Bellatrix touches all around Hermione's wet folds, purposefully avoiding the little bud throbbing for her attention. Hermione tries grinding on that hand, but she is pinned down. Bella adds another finger in her mouth and she lets out a sound that is half moan and half cry, getting desperate. She knows she will break, but she is directing all her willpower at not giving in to the teasing. Always so stubborn, Bella thinks and smirks, lowering down to whisper in Hermione's ear again.
"What is it? Would you like to finish that little story of yours now?"
Bella's voice is low and husky, driving Hermione mad. She tries lifting her hips up for more friction with the teasing fingers, but she can't move under the strong physique of the witch on top of her.
"What was that? Maybe you should tell me right now what you want, it might save you some suffering. But don't take too long, I might just get bored and leave you with your book".
"Pweez" - Hermione tries speaking over the fingers in her mouth. She feels Bellatrix smiling against her ear and fingers retracting from her mouth and resting on her neck. She can't help imagining them curling around... Another wave of arousal coats her folds at the thought. Bellatrix chuckles, ever so slightly tightening her grip, as if reading her mind.
"That's not all you want though, is it?" - she continues tormenting.
"Fuck me... please. Please, Bella".
"Well that's not quite good enough" - the grip around her neck tightens just a torturous bit more, a velvety tongue tracing up her ear lobe. She moans, so much more loudly than she anticipated, her voice echoing in the big room.
"I love seeing you like this, a little mess in my control. You can't even form a sentence to tell me what you want, can you? Too bad then".
Bellatrix removes her hand from Hermione's pulsing core, forcing her fingers in the younger witch's mouth once more, pulling them out immediately and yanking a fistful of hair once again.
"You see how wet you are for me?".
It is clear from Hermione's expression that she can't take the teasing any more, and damn well does her stubborn mouth start rambling things that Bellatrix likes bringing up in random moments to make her blush.
"Oh for fucks sake, fuck me, just fuck me, please. Please, Bella. I need you inside of me, fuck me, make me yours. Pl-" - the grip on her neck tightens once more, this time actually making it hard to speak. Bella lets go of her hair and doesn't waste a second before entering her tight walls just waiting for the skilled hand.
This time she lets Hermione grind on her, wetness flooding her own core from the sight of the trembling witch, from the sound of the panting and moans slightly struggling to come out, still making their way to the echoing walls and back to them, intensifying the moment.
It is not long before she feels Hermione tightening around her rough fingers, screaming out as she comes, back arching before she comes limp as Bellatrix lets go of her neck to caress her cheek, licking her own fingers.
She smiles down at Hermione who regains her composure and grins back, catching her breath.
~~~
Sooo that ending is all theatrical in my head, like you know when they make movies and end with a shot of people smiling at each other? But anyway I have a continuation of this in mind so if anyone would read it show some love and I'll get to it heheh just be gentle please, I have written smut but never posted any for the internet to read~
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Bedtime Reassurances
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[image credit to @aloneandblueascanbe​, pls let me know if you want it removed!]
pairing: frankie morales x gn!reader
words: 1.8k
content: one innuendo / reference to sex so 18+ only please, job related anxiety, mentions of a pandemic, one bad word, i switch from present and past tense sorry, another comfort fic but at this point is anyone surprised, soft gentle touches, verbal affirmations, frankie just being the best most encouraging bf in the world
a/n: okay so this is very similar to the other frankie fic i wrote, but i actually wrote this one first and this one has some lines that im really proud of, so i figured i’d share this one anyways!! i hope y’all enjoy this, and thank you so SO much to everyone who read my first frankie fic, seriously i cannot believe how much interest it got and i am constantly blown away by how incredible y’all are 💜💜💜 p.s. my taglists are a mess rn so don’t feel obligated to interact, and pls speak up if you want to be added or removed!
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Frankie hums under his breath a little as he walks up the stairs. The two of you had just finished watching a new movie and his spirits were pretty high (although part of that might have been because of your reactions to the movie- your laughter, your smiles, your head bobbing to the catchy music). He flicked off the hallway light before entering you room, at which he promptly paused at seeing you perched on the bed wiping your eyes.
“Sweetheart?” he questions, and you look over at him before sitting up and blinking furiously. “Hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He quickly takes a few steps over to you, but his hands hover by your sides to gauge your reaction to his sudden nearness before moving forward to slide them around your back. The last thing he wanted to do was move too fast and cause you to flinch.
“It’s nothing, I’m fine, I was just-,” you cut yourself off to take a stuttery inhale and a shaky exhale. “Just thinking, it’s not even related to anything.” Frankie tilted his head at you sympathetically as his mouth twisted into a small smile.
“If it has you this upset, I know it’s not nothing,” he paused, giving you a moment to process his words. “[y/n]” he whispered, and at hearing your name you look up to meet his eyes. “It’s me,” he said, with nothing but love and concern in his eyes. “You can talk to me. Please.” You blinked at him a couple times, and took a deep breath.
“I, um,” you stuttered and turned your eyes down, and you felt Frankie’s hand rub up and down your back. After a few deep breaths, you spoke. “I just started thinking about work again, and job hunting has been so stressful. And it all seems so scary. And I know it’s not, and I know I’m overthinking it, but I’m just so tired of starting over. And I’m just tired of not feeling good enough. And I’m sure these feelings are way too complicated over just a new job, but I’m just tired of constantly doing different things, and I know this is just the adjustment period making me feel this way, but I just want to be good at something, just one thing, and just do that one thing long enough to actually feel good about how I do that thing,” you paused to take a few deep breaths and at some point during your rambling you must have grabbed onto Frankie because both of your hands were gripping the front of his shirt. You loosened your grip a little and in response he held you a little tighter. As you met Frankie’s eyes for the first time, you couldn’t help but let out the small whimper at the pure understanding and love from him. It’s still so hard to believe that someone could look at you like that even in such a state. He brought one of his hands up to cup your cheek, and the other one wrapped around your waist.
“I’ve got you,” he said, and there was no way to not believe him when he was looking at you like that. “Just let it all out.”
“I’m afraid, but I’m also tired of being afraid, and I’m tired of not being good enough, and I’m just tired,” you laughed a little, even as tears filled your eyes. “I just want to be good enough.” Frankie’s heart cracks at your words, and as your eyes fill with tears, he feels his eyes start to sting too.
“Mi corazón. I promise you, every single person around you can see just how hard you’re trying. I know sometimes it’s hard for you to see, but every day I am in awe of just how much you do.” He sees your face scrunch up in the telltale way when you try to argue with him, so he tilts down to give you a soft kiss, and when he pulls away he can tell that put you in enough of a daze for him to keep going without you interrupting. “Despite what you struggle with, you get up and you help others, and you work on bettering yourself as a person, and you get stronger and kinder and more loving every single day. And every day I am beyond thankful that you let me into your life, that I get to be with you in the big moments and in the small moments, that I get to experience life through your eyes, because you see the world in such a way that it makes me feel so so young.” That gets a small smile from you, and now Frankie feels like he’s on a roll. “You’re kind to me and you’re kind to strangers and you’re even learning to be kind to yourself. You’re taking on the challenge of becoming a better person while also going after a new job while also doing it during a freaking pandemic.” Your breath hitches at that and while he doesn’t want to upset you, he never wants to upset you, he needs you to know this. “You think you’re behind everyone but you are leagues ahead in areas that some people aren’t gonna realize are important until years from now. And you’re doing that in a world where that isn’t the normal. And baby I am so proud of you,” he chokes up a little at that, and he sees worry creep up into your eyes as your hands come up to cup his cheeks, and ever so gently stroke the spot just below his eyes, already ready to wipe away any tears that might stray. “You are a wonderful person, a wonderful friend, and an even more wonderful lover. And I want you to go to bed, and wake up, and spend every minute of every day knowing that I love you so much and that there is so much good in you, and that you are stronger than any of your fears or anxieties or reservations, and that if you ever feel stuck I will always-,” he bumps his forehead against yours and he looks at you so head on that in that moment you feel he is looking straight into you, that he really does see everything he says he does, “-always, be right there by your side helping you out of the situation because I. Love. You.”
The first thing you noticed were his hands on your face, mostly because the pressure had increased, not in an uncomfortable way, just in a more noticeable way. And then you noticed the way his chest was moving, like saying everything he did genuinely winded him. And then you noticed his eyes, which if your being honest was probably the first thing you noticed because there’s no way not to: their deep, rich color with more depth than any other eyes you’ve ever seen, the almost imperceptible sparkle to them, because somehow this man’s eyes just sparkle, and the way that his eyes are the definition of love and compassion and trust, because there is no other way to describe them.
“Oh my gosh,” you whisper, because how on earth do you respond to that? As you wrap your arms around the back of his neck again and drag him down to kiss him, he pulls you closer as your lips touch and you press further into him because the need to have him so impossibly close is overwhelming. He breaks away for only a second before leaning back in, and he tilts you back to deepen the kiss. Your legs come up to wrap around his and he lowers you slowly all the way down onto the bed. When you break away you keep your hands firmly locked around the back of his head, keeping his forehead pressed to yours as you both catch your breath. “I love you so much,” you finally say, keeping your eyes locked on his. “I love you so dang much and sometimes I still can’t believe you’re here, with me, in our house, with me.”
“You better believe it baby, cuz there’s no getting rid of me,” his mouth cracking into a lazy smile as he nudges his strong nose against yours.
“Never,” you say, much more seriously than his joking tone warrants, but you need him to know, especially after everything he said. “I never want to get rid of you. I need you. I love you.” His eyes soften and while his teasing tone leaves, his smile never does.
“You’ll make it through this sweetheart, I promise. I’m here every step of the way.”
You beam at him, “Thank you Frankie. For everything. Everything.” Your eyes start to droop and he places a quick kiss on your nose before backing away to pull down the covers. You crawl up to the pillows, barely even acknowledging your own side in favor of his. He chuckles and crosses over to the other side, and when he’s under he cuddles you close before pulling up the blanket and securing it around you. “Tomorrow’s a new day, and somebody needs their beauty sleep to tackle their to do list.” You hum contentedly, wrapping your arms around him and slotting your head under his chin. His arms wrap around yours as he presses a kiss to your forehead and noses your hair.
“Well, you are definitely on my to do list because holy shit someone deserves some good sex for what you said,” you half mumble under your breath, and as Frankie breaks into a laugh he tries not to jostle you too much, but you caught him off guard and now he’s pretty much full on laughing, in the way that makes your heart clench a little because you love him and his beautiful laugh so dang much, the laugh that gives you so much pride because you’re the one that made it happen. When he settles down he pulls away slightly to look at you, and you are positively beaming at him, clearly proud of that joke you were able to come up with half asleep.
“Well there’s my [y/n],” he says in that deep raspy voice that only makes you smile more. He leans in to give your forehead a slow kiss.
“Thanks for finding me,” you whisper as you look up at him.
“Ehh, you’ve trusted me with most of your hiding spots, so I’ve gotten pretty good.” You prop yourself up on your elbow and place your hand on the side of his face to get a good look at him.
“But seriously Frankie, thank you. You always know exactly what to say, and I am so unbelievably grateful for you in so many ways.” His face goes as soft as he turns to give your palm a soft kiss, and you lean in one more time to kiss him properly before resuming your position. He gives you a gentle squeeze and it isn’t long until you’re drifting off to sleep in the arms of your love.
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tag list: @keeper0fthestars​, @scribbledghost​, @icanbringyouincold​, @bestintheparsec-reads​, @ezrasarm​, @andriecastana​, @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo​, @murdermewithbooks​, @remmysrecs​, @lv7867​
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kingk8art · 4 years ago
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hetalia rant
pls ignore how I won't use any proper punctuation or capitalization because my arms and fingers all hurt from volleyball :( Edit: My arm’s are better now so I’m actually using proper capitalization and punctuation (special thanks to my friends for proofreading and also Google autocorrect.) Special thanks to my friend for helping me out with writing this.
so i'm one of those people who joined the hetalia fandom like REALLY late, having first watched the anime in like 2017 or 18. Nevertheless, when I heard about how the anime was coming back in 2021 I was really excited!! I’ve been reading world stars lately but there’s just something in the hetalia anime that made me love it so much. the voice acting and how it’s animated and everything, it really brings the characters to life! out of curiosity I searched up hetalia on twitter. keep in mind that i’m pretty new to the fandom so i never really got to see the shipping wars, or really any toxic part of the fandom, since i wasn’t there when hetalia was at its peak.
What i saw was really different from what i expected to see. I kinda expected twitter threads hyping up the new season, or things like that but most of ones I found in the top section were hate comments about hetalia, and things about why it shouldn’t come back. I was reading these and I was like, wait why? Some of them actually made sense, and the others had flawed logic. Here are my rants on why hetalia ISN’T anti-Semitic or problematic (as of now).
Misconceptions About Hetalia
1. Hetalia is About Nazi Germany or the Holocaust
If you’ve actually watched the show/read the manga, it’s quite obvious that although some of the events take place during WW2, it never mentions Hitler, Nazis, the Holocaust, or anything like that. and there’s a good reason for it. In the first place, hetalia isn’t meant to be a serious comic. The manga only focuses on subjects like funny things that happened to historical figures/occurrences during a war, weird inventions; generally those kinds of things. It focuses on the cultural differences between countries, or wholesome moments in history (such as when two enemies stopped fighting on Christmas day to play soccer.) Hetalia itself is antiwar. Consider the main character himself: he absolutely hates fighting. I don’t see how hetalia can be anti-Semitic or pro-war at all. But what I will say is fucked up are those certain cosplayers that did the Nazi salute, posed in front of a Holocaust memorial, etc. But I can still guarantee that the MAJORITY of the fandom is not like this. Every single fandom has its bad apples, some more than others. It’s not right to generalize the entire fandom as anti-Semitic, racist, disrespectful shits.
Do people realize that Germany’s character in Hetalia isn’t Nazi Germany?  In the first place the Holocaust wouldn’t be Germany’s responsibility — the depictions of these characters are meant to portray the people as a whole, not their systems of law or government. It’s stated in the series that nations MUST obey orders from their “boss” (which probably refers to the country’s ruler, president, prime minister, or other leaders at the time. Nations can’t choose what their superiors do, or what those under that control do. Saying Germany is humanized Nazi Germany is like putting that label on all German people without considering factors like time period or representation. Hetalia characters are a mere representation of each country’s people, nothing else.
How does mentioning WW2 in a comedy make it offensive? There are PLENTY of movies, novels, and other kinds of media that take place in WW2 and yet are in the comedy genre. Ever watched Jojo Rabbit? If you thought Hetalia was offensive, have you ever watched South Park or looked at CountryHumans? I do get why some people dislike Hetalia, but why does it receive so much hate for something that was never in the series (or generally speaking, for the wrong reasons)? It may have flaws, but there’s a strong definition to what those flaws actually are. It doesn’t revolve around antisemitism or Nazism. 
2. Hetalia is Racist and Stereotypes People
Now this is a pretty controversial topic. Being a comedy about personified countries, stereotypes are really something that HAS to be used at some point to make the characters funny. But does that automatically make it racist? No. I saw this on a YouTube video comment section somewhere, but stereotyping (generalizing) that all stereotypes are ‘bad’ (or have negative connotations/associations) is literally stereotyping. Not all of the stereotypes are bad. Like the way Britain acts like a gentleman or likes drinking tea, which in a way, is a British stereotype. That’s not a bad thing, just funny to see in the show — played for comedy purposes, and not necessarily offensive.
Although Hetalia characters are sometimes influenced by stereotypes that revolve around the actual countries and represent the people in general, they DO NOT always represent what those country’s people are actually like. Also, I’m pretty sure the point of comedy about personified countries is to use some of those generalizations. Specifically, stereotypes that the Japanese have about foreigners. France is portrayed as a flirty man because in Japan France is known for being a “romantic country.” But that doesn’t mean that they think all French people are like that — it’s just a lighthearted joke. And now, Hetalia characters have grown to be more of their own character rather than simply a humanized country at its base. Despite being a personification, they’re like their own person, not just used to depict stereotypes. Just because a character has a certain personality trait doesn’t mean Hima believes that everyone from that country has the same trait. It’s not meant to be racist, and isn’t. 
What I Think Was/Is Problematic
As much as I love this show, there were DEFINITELY some problematic things that people tend to ignore.
1. Korea Controversy
As a Korean American, I have to say that I was quite disappointed when I learned about how Hima portrayed Korea in the manga. I won’t go that deep into this one since it’s not that relevant to what I'm talking about now, but it was definitely a HUGE problem and I’m glad that he was removed from the series.
2. Iron Cross on Germany
The iron cross that Germany wears in Hetalia (in every time period) is a military decoration that was used since the King of Prussia until the time period of Nazi Germany in WW2. Today, it’s considered a hate symbol, similar to and alongside the swastika. To be fair, it wasn’t just a decoration used purely for the Nazis, unlike several other examples of Nazi symbols and memorabilia, so I suppose it could be up to each person to judge whether it should pass or not, despite the surrounding circumstances — it isn’t up to me as part of the fanbase. But personally, I think it should have been removed/not used in the first place. I mean, it wasn’t that necessary, seeing all of the military uniforms drawn in Hetalia were simplified anyways. Perhaps it would be much less problematic if Hima didn’t draw the iron cross, and the same goes for the other presented issues.
3. Japanese Imperialism
The way Hima portrays Japanese Imperialism was pretty offensive in my opinion. An instance is the presentation of the Japanese invasion of Korea. It wasn’t just like how the colonies were under Great Britain’s rule. It limited much more of Koreans’ rights and was much more gruesome. I don’t know about anyone else and can’t speak for each individual, but as a Korean, portraying all of this as Japan merely patting Korea on the  head is fucked up. This ties to the controversy of Korea’s character. From what I’ve seen, Hetalia is pretty close to a rightist (in Japan, not the US) series. I won’t dive too deep into that, but rightist — or in Korean, 우익 — animes are animes that glorify their country’s past/country, or  use content to make fun of or criticize other nations. Actually, it’s probably much more complicated than that, but as of now I don’t know much about it. It mostly ties to the tension between Koreans and the Japanese, so if you’re not either, there’s not really much to worry about. But (maybe because I’m Korean) I found it weird that the manga seems to give every single character a bad/negative characteristic except Japan. I guess it’s only natural, since the creator is Japanese. But then again, France was basically drawn as a rapist/pedophile, but I have never seen a French person complain about it. Or maybe they just completely avoid Hetalia? If anyone knows about it, I would be glad to listen. Perhaps it’s just a bias that I have as a Korean. It could also be a cultural difference too, since we tend to be very patriotic.
4. The Title: Axis Powers
Although the main character is Italy, and the story revolved (emphasis on the past tense) around the 3 countries that were part of the Axis, Hima should have been more considerate with the title of the show, thinking about what the Axis Powers actually did during WW2. Just “Hetalia” would have been fine. But it also should be considered that when Hima started drawing the manga, he did not expect it to become a long-term thing or for it to blow up so much. Thankfully, only the first two seasons of the anime were titled as Hetalia: Axis Powers, and later seasons were titled more acceptable things, like World Stars (manga) or The Beautiful World.
5. Seychelles
Personally I don’t find a problem with there not being that many African/South American countries in the show. Africa’s country borders (and all of that related material) were very different from what they are today, and it would be really fucking hard for Hima to keep track of all of those while still writing good characters. And unlike Europe, Africa’s history was not transcribed much, and is a lot less-known. The problem with Seychelles was her skin color, which wasn’t accurate. But that’s since been fixed.
Is Hetalia Really Problematic?
My most straightforward answer for this question would be no, it is not problematic as of now. Something I realized while listing all of the aspects of Hetalia that I personally thought were wrong to put in was that most of them don’t exist anymore. Besides Germany’s iron cross, all of them were removed from the show. Korea was banned from the anime, and he no longer appears in any of the manga strips. The manga strays further and further away from topics like Japanese Imperialism or WW2. Most of the time in the manga, countries do not wear their military uniforms anymore, but stick to more casual clothes. The characters stray further away from stereotypes that Hima used to use as a comedic effect when he first started drawing. My point is: Hima learned his mistakes. Which only makes sense, considering all of the criticism he probably received when the series first started. I think that’s a good thing. Now back to what I was ranting about earlier. I don’t get why people are saying Hetalia shouldn’t come back! The new season is most likely going to be based off the most recent Hetalia manga series, which is Hetalia World Stars. If you’ve ACTUALLY READ THE MANGA AND DIDN’T JUDGE THE ENTIRETY OF HETALIA BASED ON ITS FIRST FEW SEASONS, you would know what World Stars is about. It’s about all sorts of things. My personal favorite strips are the ones about ancient Rome! It’s not just drawn to give readers a laugh but it actually teaches you some history. Other than Rome, the manga is also about the trends of clothes in certain countries/time periods, industrial revolutions, or just the interactions between the characters in general. I really don’t see how animating these would be harmful at all. The subjects don’t revolve around what a lot of opposers say/negatively connotate the series with. If you think bringing Hetalia back is a terrible thing to do because the fandom would return and start doing toxic/weird things, I really don’t know how to respond to that. The fandom already died out around the time the last season was released. Now newer fans will come around, and the former fans would return (hopefully) matured up. It's already been 5 years since the last Hetalia season aired, after all. And like I said earlier, toxic fans never represent the entire fandom. If you really hate the fandom that much, I recommend not getting involved at all.
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buckyskorpion · 4 years ago
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11 hours - part seven
Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Reader
Summary: bucky is the mystery you can’t wait to solve. if you can get out of his bed long enough, that is. a biker au.
Warnings: gang-typical violence, sex scenes, alcohol mentions, probably more to come so stay tuned
A/N: hello i apologise in advance. pls dont hurt me!!! i would appreciate your feedback and your theories about where this fic is going! i hope this part isn’t too..... upsetting lmao. i wont be taking tags for this so please dont ask.
title taken from 11 hours by wet | playlist | please donate to my ko-fi!
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You believed, until now, that you walked the world seeking out dark corners and underbellies other people didn’t want to touch. That’s your job. The current case you're supposed to be working on involves a man suspected of drugging his girlfriend to take nonconsensual nudes of her and sell them to his friends while she slept. You’re well aware the world is a dangerous place.
But things look different now, in a way you never could have imagined before the Lerna. Those men were dead before you could blink, and you know life is expendable and fragile and so easy to take but it’s another thing to see it taken before your eyes. It’s another thing to take it yourself. And you know, now, why Bucky would only show you parts of his life and himself because this whole truth feels like staring directly into the sun - painfully bright, to the point where it’s all you can see and all the good things are reduced to a spotty, hazy blur.
You’re sitting in your office, at your desk where you’re trying to work but you can’t get the sound of bullet casings hitting the floor and the thunk of a knife in skin out of your head. There, in the centre of your tiny office, was where you sat on Bucky’s lap and kissed him and demanded ‘no secrets.’ Too stubborn to know he was keeping them for a reason, that maybe there are things you don't want to know after all. But you can feel his skin under your fingertips and the brush of his stubble as he kissed you, a memory you can touch, and you can’t help but think it still feels worth it. At the end of it all, if it was a choice of the Lerna happening or never having Bucky at all, you know what you’d chose.
As if he can hear you, your phone buzzes with a text from him. Joey’s at 7?
It’s already 6:30. You’re grabbing your keys and leaving the fear on your desk chair as you text him back. Sounds perfect.
It really is. Joey’s is your favourite bar, and just seeing the grimy neon sign outside makes your heart feel less heavy. This, after everything, remains the same. You still feel giddy jogging down the stairs, ready for the heady bass music to push through your chest and a whiskey apple to numb the wounds. It feels like the beginning, half-nervous half-excited to go find Bucky tucked in a booth at the back, dim purple light chiseling out his cheekbones and catching bright on his sharp smile. Back then it was innocent, if a fuck buddy hook-up could be. Now that you know you would do things for Bucky you’d never do for anyone else, that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to remove his brand from your heart- well. You skip a couple more steps as you head down into Joey’s, only a few minutes late.
You don’t slow down as you enter the bar, weaving through patrons searching for a familiar face. Now that you’re here to the urge to see him, to have him in your arms, is almost unbearable. When you do find Bucky, spinning a glass between his fingers in a nervous habit you’ve noticed he has, he feels your eyes on him immediately. He stands and you crash into him, burying your hands under his leather jacket to feel the warmth of his body against your palms. Bucky hugs you back just as harshly, the force of his embrace lifting your toes off the ground. When he pulls away his runs a hand over your head, down your hair, coming to rest by the side of your neck as if to check your pulse and make sure you’re really there.
“You ok?” he asks, bright blue eyes now dark and hooded as he stares down at you.
You nod, unwilling to let go of your grip on the back of his t-shirt even as he pulls away, and say, “Am now.”
“Need to talk to you, it’s important,” Bucky says. He escapes your grip with ease, because he’s huge and strong and it’s easy to forget that when he softens for you. He sits at the booth and you slide in across him, watching as he downs the rest of the straight whiskey in his glass like its water. That bad feeling is back, like back at Steve’s tattoo shop, but you don’t want it here. You fumble for Bucky’s hand across the table, and he lets you hold it but it doesn’t stop the dread settling heavy in your gut. You squeeze his fingers tighter, just in case.
“Is everything alright?” you ask. “Are we- did the cops find out-“
“No, no,” Bucky says, shaking his head down at the table. His gaze catches on your intwined fingers, the glint of his signet rings in the dim bar light, and says, “The cops aren’t the problem.”
“But there is a problem,” you say, and now Bucky raises his eyes to look at you.
“I need to tell you something, it’s important” Bucky says, again, and the dread rises from your stomach like bile to your throat. “You have to understand this, so you can see that I’m not- that this isn’t just-“
“Bucky.” He lets out a ragged breath as you cut him off mid ramble, scrubs a hand through his hair. You hate the way your voice wobbles when you say, “You’re scaring me.”
You almost make yourself laugh as those words leave your mouth. This scares you? Bucky, frustrated and nervous and clinging to your hand like a lifeline, but when he walked over lifeless bodies he sunk bullets into with a giant rifle on his back - that was just fine.
“You know when we were at Steve’s, and we were talking about Hydra? About Rumlow? Do you remember that?” Bucky asks. He stares at you like he’s imploring you to say it for him, whatever it is he’s struggling to say, but you don’t understand.
You nod slowly and say, “Natasha said Rumlow had it out for you. You said Hydra is your biggest rival.”
“Yes, right,” Bucky says, nodding a bit manically. He’s still gripping your hand tight. “Rumlow hated me, and as far as we can tell - or Nat, I guess, she’s been looking into it - he was acting on his own, to get to me.”
“That’s good, right?” You don’t feel sure, with the way Bucky is acting and looking at you all glassy-eyed. “No big gang war, or whatever.”
“I need you to understand why Rumlow hated me, because it’s not just- it wasn’t just about him, ok?” Bucky says, and now he’s looking around the room like that night in your office. Casing the bar, looking for exits. “He’s dead, but none of this died with him.”
“What is ‘this’?” you ask, and wonder for the first time, do I want to find out?
“The first time I met Rumlow was in the hospital, a couple of days after I got back from Afghanistan,” Bucky says. “I’d been honourably discharged, my arm was all fucked up and fried from a chem bomb and I lost all sensation in it so they sent me home. I remember I was lying in the bed looking out the window, and it was snowing. I hadn’t been anywhere but a desert in so long and I was like, what do I do know? I don’t own a coat anymore. I’m a black ops sniper, that’s not exactly a transferrable skill - can’t even put it on a resume because it’s classified. My arm’s fried and ugly lookin’. I’m fucked.”
“You must’ve been so scared,” you say. Bucky meets your eyes, and you can see it haunting him in the back of them - so much heat and fire and pain left behind, so much cold and unknown and pain lying in front. Your dad has told you a similar story, when he came back from Iraq, and he had the same look in his eyes Bucky does right now.
“I was,” he says, and you squeeze his fingers. He looks towards your hands again and says, “I was, and they knew it.”
“Hydra,” you say, and you know you’re right. Bucky nods anyway.
“Rumlow came into my hospital room and told me, Hydra helps guys like me. They helped him and look - he’s got a job and money and friends and a team again. A purpose. But I said no. I’m black ops, I know shady guys when I seem ‘em and Rumlow reeked of it. Just, Hydra doesn’t like being told no.”
“They target vulnerable, traumatised vets in hospitals?” you ask, disgusted. You can taste the hate that boils up, and that ugly, angry part picturing Bucky lying in a bed so alone and afraid and imagining someone like Rumlow trying to take advantage of him like that - that ugly part says I’m glad he’s dead.
“They’re highly trained and easily moulded,” Bucky says in way of answer, and you shudder at the thought. “But seem Rumlow failed and it was my fault. He failed over and over again every time they sent him to recruit me. So he hated me, and then I started the Commandos with Steve and Sam and Nat to target them. The only way to save the next poor bastard like me from ending up with Hydra is to end them, except there ain't a cop in the city who can touch them.”
“But you can,” you say, and you know it’s stupid but your heart has never been known as terribly smart, so you add, “Bucky, that’s dangerous.”
He smiles, small but it’s there, and he rubs his thumb over your knuckles as he says, “I know, doll. I don’t know if you know this about me, but stupid’s kinda my thing.”
“Very funny,” you say, rolling your eyes at Bucky’s cheeky grin now splitting his face. As quick as it came, though, his smile dies and so does the small spark of hope that maybe this story has a happy ending.
“I’ve made Hydra my enemy and I can’t change that. I don’t want to,” Bucky says, nodding solemnly at his own words and you watch him physically turn cold, stony and distant in the space of a second. “But that means that as long as Hydra is around, they’re going to be coming after me. First Rumlow, but it won’t stop there. They’ll come and keep coming and what if, one time, I don’t get there in time? Or you don’t get to leave your phone on, or even make it to a location before they shoot you in the back of the car?”
“No,” you say. You’re not stupid, you know where this is going and just- no. Bucky is being deliberately harsh, speaking loud and unfiltered to try and make it easier to do what he’s about to do but you won’t let him. That dread turned bile has now turned into straight, acidic fire pumping through veins and it hurts.
Bucky smiles faint and sad, says, “You said it yourself - it’s dangerous no matter what.”
“That's not what I meant,” you say, shaking your head vehemently, wildly, as if you can physically shake Bucky of this stupid idea and the actual pain you’re in just entertaining this conversation. “You know that’s not what I meant, what are- you asked me to stay, Bucky. You asked me, and now you want-“
“I know, I know,” Bucky says,  tugging your hand close to him now but it’s your turn to try and pull away, albeit unsuccessfully. “I know and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you almost died. Do you understand that? They would have killed you, and the only reason is me.”  
“That’s such bullshit,” you say, trying and failing to pull your hand free of his grip but he isn’t letting go now and the death-grip he has on you, tethering you to him even as he pushes you away, makes your eyes sting with ugly tears.
“It’s not,” Bucky says, so sad, and you just want to kiss that guilt away for him even still, even as your heart is breaking under his fist. “You will always be in danger until the day comes where I can’t protect you, and I won’t do that to you. I can’t, I can’t be the reason you get hurt.”
“You can’t protect me if you’re not around,” you say, so soft you can barely be heard over Joey’s house music but honestly, you might as well be completely alone for how little you care about the bar around you.
“The safest place for you is away from me,” Bucky says, and that makes you laugh. Humourless, fucking painfully, but you laugh and Bucky glares so dark you’re reminded of the look in his eyes when he stared down at Rumlow’s body bleeding out on the ground. Through gritted teeth he says, “You think I would do this if there was any other way?”
“There is another way,” you say, glaring right back. “There’s not being a coward about it, Bucky. You lead a dangerous life, I get it. Believe me, I fucking get it, and I chose to stay. Ok? I wanna be here anyway, so why does my choice not matter to you? Is this some stupid excuse to get rid of me?”
“Don’t say that,” Bucky all but growls, and you should be scared. He’s scary, Bucky is dangerous by his own admission but you refuse to be afraid of him. Even when he’s trying to force you to be, holding your hand too tight and dragging you around the booth so he can pin you to the seat and you both know the only way you can move is if he lets you. As if he thinks he can scare you away from him, if he can’t reason you to go.
“I don’t care how dangerous it is,” you say into his seething face, inches from yours, teeth bared in a truly terrifying snarl as he pins you to the leather in a show of strength that will leave bruises tomorrow. “I don’t wanna be away from you.”
For half a moment, you really think Bucky is going to hit you. He moves so fast, and you’ve never seen his face look like that - hurt and angry and upset and half-insane all at once. But he just presses his forehead to yours, closes his eyes and breathes you in, and for another half a moment you get to think, maybe he’ll change his mind.
“You’re all I want,” Bucky breathes, so soft and quiet you almost don’t hear him if it wasn’t said almost directly into your skin. “But that’s selfish.”
“I don’t care,” you say, like a mantra now, or a prayer. Just hoping he’ll hear you, “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.”
“You should,” Bucky says, and pulls away from you just as fast as he came in. “I won’t be the reason you end up dead.”
Bucky sits before you like a solid brick wall - unbreakable, immovable, cold and blank. His eyes are shuttered from you and you know there’s no way to get to him now. There’s nothing else you can say. If you aren’t enough for him to push past his fear and love you anyway, nothing you say is going to change his mind. Just because you know it’s true doesn’t mean it hurts any less, though, as you sit there boxed in by this menacing stranger looking at you in a way you never want to be looked at again. Like he already doesn’t know you. Like you’ve already been forgotten.
“This was always gonna happen, wasn’t it?” you ask, more to yourself than to Bucky. You laugh at his silence, the flat set of his mouth and clenched fists on his thighs. Maybe if you never went to that first party at Natasha’s house and remained at arms length, sneaking out his window and never staying the night, then maybe you could’ve had him just a little bit longer. But you didn’t, and now you’re hurt in a way you’ve never been before. Your dad never prepared you to survive a pain like this.
You slide out the other side of the booth, tripping slightly as you climb to unsteady feet. It’s hard to see through unshed tears but you don’t bother looking back at Bucky still sat in the booth. You weave through people just as fast as when you came in, but for the opposite reason now - you can’t leave behind this dim-lit bar painted with the gorey tatters of your heart fast enough.
When you emerge onto the street you know Bucky has followed you, his hulking presence palpable behind you as you stand on the sidewalk and try and calm your rapid heartbeat. You’re surprised its still beating with how much it hurts, especially when Bucky places a hand on your shoulder and cracks your heart neatly in two. He says, softly under New York traffic, “Let me drive you home. Please.”
Instead of asking why, why does he care, why does he want to, if the safest place is away from you then leave me alone, what you say is a mildly whiny, “You don’t know where I live.”
“I’ll put the address in my phone,” Bucky says, calm and low as if to placate you but you’re well past that point now. You’re crying openly on the street like a lunatic as Bucky gently takes your hand and leads you towards his bike, manhandles you onto it, clicks a helmet on over your head. It feels cruel for him to be this soft after so ruthlessly tearing you apart, but you suppose it’s better than being left alone in the street like he never cared at all.
When you pull up to your apartment building Bucky kills the engine and leans in close to you before you have a chance to jump off and run away. You think, surely he’s not about to kiss me right now and you really hate the part of you that hopes he does, but he doesn’t. He just leans in close and whispers into your helmet, “They could be watching your place, after what happened. I’m so sorry.”
You close your eyes. Bucky’s right, this will never stop, but that doesn’t mean you want to face it alone. Your whole life has been carved out for you only, but just once you thought maybe you could live it with someone else. That’s not a life for you to have, it seems, so you take a deep breath through snotty tears and nod, say, “I can handle it,” because you know you can. You’ll have to.
“I think-“ Bucky starts but falters, bites his lip blanched white before continuing, “They might leave you alone if you make it clear I’m not in your life anymore.”
“You can’t ask me to do that,” you say, and all the resolve you just gathered is shattered as instantly as you found it. You’re crying again because fuck, nothing has ever hurt like this has, from the inside where you can’t find it or heal it or stop it so it just sucks the life out of you one painful second at a time.
“You have to, honey,” Bucky says, and you want to punch him for it. The way he talks to you like he loves you, like he cares, but he can’t if he’s making you do this. Break your own heart to save his. “Scream at me, send me away. They won’t need to target you then.”
“You’re cruel,” you say, pulling away from him. You don’t want to touch him anymore, can’t stand to be this close so you trip off the bike and stumble down the street. Bucky stares after you, his own eyes teary and face screwed up in genuine pain. It could never compare to the sick feelings in your stomach as you take a deep breath and scream, “Go away, Bucky. Fucking leave me alone and never come back or I’ll fucking kill you, you hear me? Fuck off, and don’t come back.”
You can’t help the sob that rips from you, threatening to buckle your knees and break you right on the sidewalk. Bucky is looking at you like you’ve just stuck a knife in his chest but he asked you to, he keeps asking and taking and it’s always you that ends up hurt. You leave him on the street, stumble up the stairs to your apartment and sink to the floor as soon as the door clicks shut behind you. It’s dark in your apartment, nothing but streetlights outside casting shadows on furniture he never touched, but it still feels like he’s haunting you just the same.
Bucky’s bike revs to life and he tears away, the sound ripping straight through and down the street. It leaves you hollowed out, a burnt-through husk curled up on your hardwood floor. You know you’ll never hear that sound again.
****
For your entire life it’s always been you against the world. The only person you could ever trust is yourself, the only one who’s going to look out for you is you and you can’t remember a time where you didn’t think this way. Maybe it’s nature, maybe it’s nurture, but it’s how you’ve always seen the world.
However, you’re only now starting to feel what being truly alone is actually like.
Bucky’s contact lies open on your phone, but you don’t press call. You won’t. He pushed you away for your own ‘safety,’ for his own fear, and you’ll have to learn to live with his choice. Even though you still love him and always will, you can’t have him and you’ll just have to be ok with that. So you leave this contact photo up on your phone, resting on your coffee table beside your open laptop. You’ve got the input feed of the bug you planted in your dad’s kitchen open, chunky headphones on, scrolling through the audio from the past few days since you’d last seen him.
Your heart is broken by the first man you’ve ever let into your life and the only other person who knows you and who you trust, you’re currently spying on. Now, for the first time, you truly have no one left.
Focusing on work has always been an escape for you, and even when your life is in pieces around you and your heart looks no different, work still pulls through. Even if that work is your own father and the inane conversations he has with himself about the baseball teams on TV, or the calls he makes to his vet friends, or the late-night renditions of ABBA songs you remember well from your childhood. A file lies open on your coffee table with your father’s name on it and pages of notes you’ve made from nearly one hundred hours of audio recordings. You hope beyond hope that you’re just paranoid, and that this time when you go digging you don’t find anything at all.
The only thing you’ve noticed so far is your dad makes a lot of phone calls. They’re long, with a lot of names thrown around you don’t recognise as being his friends or anyone from work he’s mentioned to you before. You write them all down to look up later, but you’ve got to go meet a client so you shut everything down and collect your notes in the file. You hide them, just in case, and grab your leather jacket before you leave. You still have rent to pay. The world goes on around you despite everything being turned upside down, almost as if Bucky never happened at all.
You leave via the back of the building, to come out onto the street closest to the subway station. Usually smokers hang out around there so you aren’t surprised to see two men leaning against the wall, but you are surprised when they star following you down the alley. At this point you’re an old hand at being followed, and the petty part of you brain thinks in Bucky’s direction, see? Doesn’t matter if you’re here or not, dumbass. You sigh to yourself and plan to give them the run around once you clear the alley, but you don’t get a chance to.
From behind you hear a couple of solid thunks, a groan, a muttered curse from one of the men and then one final thunk before silence. You turn around, half afraid of who you’re going to meet once you do and half annoyed because you think you might know who it is. Sure enough, standing there in her leather jacket and a rusted metal pipe from the dumpster in her grip, is Natasha.
She blows a stray strand of hair out of her face and says, “Fancy seeing you here.”
“So he’ll break up with me but will still have me followed,” you say, folding your arms over your chest. Natasha shrugs and you mutter, “Figures.”
“I am always the first to say James is an idiot,” Natasha says, twirling the pipe like a baton in her delicate hands. She grins at you and says, “James is an idiot.”
“I’m aware,” you grit out, glaring at the red-head. “What are you doing here?”
“Making sure you don’t end up as Hydra mince-meat,” Natasha says, “What does it look like?”
“Doing whatever Bucky says even when it’s stupid,” you say. Natasha doesn’t like that, her bright grin dropping into a scowl as she steps up to you. Small, but with a clearly lethal weapon in her hands if the unconscious bodies behind her are anything to go by, she jabs the tip of the pipe into your chest and forces you a step backwards.
“James always has good intentions, even if his logic is sometimes flawed.” She drops the pipe, letting it clang to the floor between you as if to punctuate her saying, “Besides, James didn't tell me to do anything. I volunteered.”
“Why?” you ask, sneering slightly. “I think we both know you don’t trust me, or like me, and you make it very hard to like you.”
Natasha smiles at that, and you hate the face she makes every time you say something she ‘approves’ of - condescending, like she doesn’t expect you to have brain cells and is surprised every time you do. She says, very solemn despite the smile in her eyes, “I owe you.”
That makes you pause. Instantly, like you’re right back in that bar. You can see her groaning body struggling to stand after being thrown into a wall. Rumlow pointing a gun at her back, the blood-thirst emanating off him in waves. Your own hand, as if detached from your body, flinging the knife across the room into his neck before he can put a bullet in Natasha’s.
You swallow thickly, shake your head and say, “No you don’t.”
“I do,” she insists. She steps forward with her hand out, beckoning her fingers like she wants you to hand her something. You just stare at her empty palm for a few seconds before she clicks her tongue and says, “Phone.”
You hand it over without thinking, which was definitely stupid. But Natasha just types away quickly before giving it back and you see you have a new contact with her name attached entered into your phone.
“If you ever need anything,” she says, and taps your phone screen with her nail, “call me.”
It was only minutes ago you were sitting on your couch scrolling through audio from your tapped father’s kitchen thinking you’ve never been more alone in your life. Yet here you are, looking at a helping hand outstretched from the last person you expected it to come from. Your fingers shake slightly as you tuck your phone into your back pocket, and Natasha smiles at you like she understands.
“Thank you,” you say, and you hope she knows you genuinely do mean it.
Natasha nods, then says, “Get out of here, alright? I have to clean this up.”
You suppose that’s Natasha speak for ‘your welcome,’ so you leave her to it. The whole client meeting you can’t focus properly, too busy trying to decide if you feel safer or more afraid at having one of the scariest women you know watching your apartment. By the end of the day, your conclusion is that if Natasha is going to be in your life, its probably best she’s on your side rather than against it.
When you get home that afternoon there is no sign of the two guys Natasha knocked out, nor is she anywhere to be seen. You can’t help but feel watched, though, as you enter your building and climb the stairs. She’s a busy woman and you know she can’t be watching you all the time but you still feel her green eyes on the back of your neck - its not an altogether uncomfortable sensation. That’s something to unpack later, you think, as you collapse on the couch.
You try to resist, but as soon as you sit down and close your eyes the urge to forget about the case you’ve just taken on and look into your own hunches grows too strong. You get up again and fish out your dad’s file again from your hiding place, bringing it back to the couch to flip open. The list of names you’ve been compiling is at the top, scribbled in messy handwriting as you listened to your dad’s one-sided conversations. You tallied up how many times the same name had been mentioned and in what context, however it had been hard to decipher what your dad was talking about with only half the story.
You decide to go looking into the most mentioned name - more of a title, really. Somebody your dad calls Chief shows up in almost every single conversation he has over the phone, and when you were going through the audio it dredged up some strange, suppressed childhood memory. You used to hear him talking to guys downstairs when you were doing your homework, and you always thought he called them ‘chief’ as a nickname or weird, macho term of endearment like how kids in your class would call each other ‘bro’.
Maybe, he was only talking to one guy. You were going to find out.
Starting at your dad’s job, you scroll through their website and LinkedIn profiles to find any link to the name ‘Chief.’ He works as a security guard for a chain of clubs in the city so you are doubtful, and sure enough nothing really comes up to peak your interest. Your dad really only has one other major outlet to look into and that’s the VA, so you have to swallow past the dirty feeling of investigating suffering vets and start scrolling through the website for the Brooklyn VA group attached to the medical centre.
It’s all wholesome stuff and nothing of interest to your snooping at all until you get to a photo gallery from four years ago. It’s dedicated to commemorating the Brooklyn VA and New York Police Department workshop day promoting mental health for vets and servicemen. There are a bunch of photos of group activities and the lunch put on by the VA, and you spot your dad in a couple of them. You’re about to click off when you find one where your dad is posed with another vet and a very official, very dressed up cop. Nothing you haven’t seen at least forty of before in this gallery, but it’s the caption which makes you pause.
It reads, Some of the Brooklyn VA’s finest with NY Chief of Police. It has to be a coincidence, the man’s job title and nothing more. He’s tall, broad, with sandy blonde hair turning grey under his police hat. There are more medals than you can count pinned to his uniform and even in this grainy photo you can tell he would squash your dad like an ant if he gave the Chief of Police a reason to. You’ve never paid attention to this before, steering clear of cops whenever you can, but you find yourself googling him as soon as you can pull yourself away from his mile-long stare.
As soon as the NYPD profile on the Chief of Police loads, your blood turns to ice. You want to say you’re crazy, you’re crazy, you’re paranoid, but name one time your paranoia had led you wrong? Two strange coincidences don’t happen back to back, no matter how disconnected they may appear. Two worlds you never thought you would know, let alone be watching them collide, stare up at you from your computer screen. You can hear Steve’s voice like he’s sitting right next to you, saying “It is strange we haven’t heard anything from Pierce,” and right under a professional portrait of the Chief of Police is his name burning into the back of your eyelids - Alexander Pierce.
You shove your laptop onto the coffee table and stand, pacing back and forth in front of your couch. Scraping a hand through your hair and pulling half of it out of your head in the process, you try to reason your way out of connecting these dots. They’re barely dots, their echoes of dots - so your dad took a photo with the Chief of Police four years ago and he refers to someone he knows as ‘Chief’ as a nickname and Steve mentioned Pierce was someone in Hydra and the Chief of Police happened to be named Alexander Pierce. So what, right?
“Ok, ok, ok, ok,” you say to yourself, rushed and manic. You’ll just ask your dad. He’s your dad, he was never supposed to hide anything from you so why would he start now? If you just ask he might-
You don’t get to finish your thought. Three loud knocks ring through your empty apartment, your doorbell chiming impatiently straight afterwards. You stare at the door with your heart in your throat, long enough for them to ring the doorbell again and a loud, male voice to call out your full name. Someone you don’t recognise, yet they know where you live. You approach the door on silent feet and look through the peephole, reaching for the baseball bat you keep behind a pot plant as you do.
Standing outside are two men in suits, one of whom is looming at the peephole and making stupid faces while his college rolls his eyes and attempts to hold him back. Through the door, you ask, “Who is it? What department are you with?”
“I’m Special Detective James Rhodes and this is my partner, Special Detective Tony Stark,” the unimpressed cop says, elbowing his colleague out of the way who is still trying to look through the wrong side of the peephole. Holding up a badge and gesturing for his partner to do the same, Detective Rhodes says, “We’re with the FBI, ma’am.”
“Shit,” you say, before realising you said that out loud. Your hand feels numb where you grip your baseball bat tightly, and you decide in that moment you have to be dreaming. No way has the events of the past fifteen minutes taken place.
The guy who must be Detective Stark laughs and says, “Shit is right. Let us in, ma’am, we need to ask you some questions.”
You look back at the coffee table laden with copious notes on your father and your open laptop, Chief of Police Alexander Pierce’s face staring back at you. An omen, you think, but it would be even more suspicious if you asked them to wait to clean everything up. Your heart-stopping, life-changing, maybe-discovery will have to wait.
You slide off the chain and unlock your deadbolt, opening the door for the two FBI agents. They walk in without another word, and it really hits you then. It doesn’t matter what Bucky does now, if he leaves you and never comes back or if he never left at all - you’re in this, now. And now you’ll pay the price.
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outrebanx · 4 years ago
Text
don’t feel (3)
JJ Maybank x female reader
Masterlist
Part one // Part two // — // Part four
Summary: JJ comes to check on you after the disastrous kegger, finding you doing chores in the early hours of the morning
Word count: 1.9k (shorter than the others as its more of a filler chapter)
Warnings: abuse, mentions of abuse, blood, swearing, (nothing else?)
——- I am in no way romanticising abuse if you have any issues with my writing pls message me
A/N: this isnt my best i’m sorry but reading through it i wasn’t sure where to change it, and because its acting as more of a filler it’s not hugely important anyway - but next part should be all fluff i hope so i’m looking forward to writing it :)) // as always feedback is appreciated
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“I can explain!” You exclaimed, hands out defensively as your parents stood up from your bed.
Both your mum and dad crossed their arms, the tapping of your mum’s foot being the only noice in the room for a few seconds, “Okay then young lady, explain.” Your mum said expectantly.
“I needed some fresh air, and I knew you were asleep downstairs mum,” you looked at the floor away from her piercing gaze, “so I didn’t want to wake you and left through my window I’m sorry.”
“You ‘went out for some air’ looking like that?” Your dad waved his hand at your outfit and ruined makeup, his eyebrows raised.
“I- um, was wearing this already and I was upset.” You knew your excuse was getting progressively worse, the lies you were telling getting harder and harder to believe, but you still wanted to try.
Without warning your mum’s hand connected with your face, “Don’t lie to us! We’re not stupid.”
You cupped your face in shock, trying to hold back the tears that were already threatening to spill out of your eyes. “I’m sorry, what can I do to make up for it?”
“Stop lying to us for one you little bitch.” Your dad spat at you, grabbing your wrist in an excruciatingly tight grip.
Your mum nodded her agreement, not even caring about the look of pain on your face as your dad began dragging you along towards the bathroom.
“Get cleaned up and then go and clean the pool.”
“But its the middle of the night-“
“You said you wanted some fresh air didn’t you? At leat you’re being helpful by doing this.” He shoved you into the bathroom, ignoring the way you tripped over your feet and fell, hitting the edge of the sink with your head on the way down.
The door slammed behind you, and just like that, the floodgates seemed to open for what felt like the fiftieth time that night. How do you have enough water left in your body for even more crying?
You lifted your hand up to where it had come into contact with the sink, pulling back when you felt a warm liquid, and even though your vision was blurry from the tears - it was obvious it was blood.
“Shit.” You reached for the sink, pulling yourself up from the floor so you could properly look into the mirror behind it.
Realising you had to fix this up before it got worse, you ran the tap, splashing some cold water on your face to get rid of some of the make up and combat the tears, and went into the cupboard searching for a clean piece of cloth to hold up against the wound.
Standing in front of the mirror, a small towel held up against the cut to stop the bleeding, you examined yourself and the only words that could describe you right now was ‘a fucking mess’.
After several minutes you removed the towel, happy to see that the bleeding had slowed almost completely, and so began clearing the rest of yourself up, starting with removing the make up stains across your whole face. Once you felt and looked less like someone who had been crying for the whole night, you quietly left the bathroom and changed into some leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. You didn’t want to go and do some chores at this time of night but you weren’t going to upset your parents again as they had almost gone easy on you tonight.
Heading downstairs you heard your parent’s bedroom door shut, one of them had probably been waiting to make sure you go outside.
You had never liked the shed where all the pool cleaning stuff was stored, it was something about the spiders that lived in there that had always freaked you out, scared one would fall on you if you moved something. Taking a few deep breaths to try and prepare yourself, you stepped into the small wooden building, sidestepping over a broken spade and grabbed the equipment you needed.
Your pool wasn’t huge like some on this street, but it was still big enough to be a pain in the ass to clean, you threw the equipment on the floor, grabbing a net to remove all the leaves and bugs that had fallen into the water and began the cleaning process.
It took about 10 minutes to remove all the debris, and as you turned your attention to brushing some dirt off the walls, you heard movement behind you. In most situations you would assume this was one of your parents, but for once without a doubt you knew it wasn’t them as you were facing the house and there had been no movement inside.
Your heart was racing, this was like some sort of crime show where you get murdered and left to bleed out in your pool - no you weren’t going to let your thoughts head down that road, it was probably a cat or something, yeah something harmless, you slowly began to convince yourself.
You began to turn around, the brush you were holding close to your chest ready for its debut as a weapon if needed, when your heart leapt out of your skin at the tall figure you were met with.
As you lifted the brush, ready to strike, you realised you knew the figure, his deep blue eyes staring at you, a small smirk playing at his lips.
“What the fuck!” You say, wary you can’t be any louder in case your parents hear, “Did you follow me home or something?”
He held up his hands in surrender, “I didn’t follow you home, but I might’ve asked someone where you lived.”
“That’s not any less creepy JJ if I’m being honest - why did you come to my house?”
“Well I was going to make sure you were okay and maybe play out a rom com situation where I talk to you at your window, but instead it seems to be one of the classic porn scenarios, not that I’m complaining.” He smirked at you.
You roll your eyes in disgust, “Get your head out the gutter. And as you can see I’m fine so please leave.”
“I hear you say fine, but it’s the early hours of the morning and you’re cleaning a pool, as well as some sort of head injury that I can feel by the way, so I’m going with you’re not fine.” He raises his eyebrows at you in question.
Fuck, you’d forgotten about that recent development, annoyed there was now someone you could never hide your pain from, for better or worse.
“I’m cleaning because after my disaster of a night, I couldn’t get to sleep so I thought this would help clear my mind, and its a small cut from where I fell in the bathroom and hit my head because I’m clumsy. That good enough for you?” You were almost proud of how easily you could lie to people, but in fairness you had fell in the bathroom so that one wasn’t exactly a lie, more of an omission of the whole truth.
JJ nodded to himself, “We’re gonna have to talk about it at some point.”
“Talk about what?” You asked, worried he might’ve not believed what you’d said and was making theories about your home life.
“The soulmate thing.”
“Oh,” you breathed out, “yeah probably, although there’s not much to say.”
He let out a small chuckle, “Well this is going to be harder than I thought, you’re not one for being emotional and open are you?”
“Not really no,” you couldn’t help but laugh a little at yourself, “but I understand we might need to get to know each other now.”
“Great.” He stepped towards you, smiling, “Should we start now?”
“We’ve already clarified I’m cleaning a pool, do you need your eyes checked or something?”
He raised his eyebrows at the way your words dripped with sarcasm, “I think my eyes are fine baby, I guess we’ll have to reschedule to tomorrow then.”
“I guess we do.” You respond, trying to ignore the way your stomach fluttered when he called you baby, especially because he was clearly trying to get a rise out of you.
“Alright, can you surf?”
“How will that help us to get to know each other?”
“You learn a lot surfing with someone, and it means we spend most of the day together - so can you surf?”
You consider telling him that you couldn’t, but you were actually pretty good and this could be an opportunity to show him up - and because he was your soulmate you really did want to get to know him, you were just too stubborn to admit it at the moment.
“Yeah I can blondie, hope you’re ready to be put to shame.” You laughed.
“Oh I cant wait,” he smiled at you, “I’ll meet you at the beach at ten?”
“Ten’s good for me, and hey maybe we’ll both actually sleep before then.”
“Alright,” he looked like he wanted to step closer to you but instead settled on a small wave, “I’ll see you then.”
He gave you one last smile before turning away and heading back out of your garden, and as you watched him leave and thought about your “date” tomorrow your heart quickened.
——
As JJ walked away from you he smiled to himself, he had never met someone like you - anyone he’d ever been with he either hadn’t got to know or they didn’t excite him in the way he wanted. The only person he’d ever considered to date was Kie as she knew some of the darkest things about him and stayed around and she joked around with him nicely, but he realised pretty quickly that she was better to have as a friend.
He’d only ever seen you a few times, and in the past week or so at that, but he was loving every minute he spent with you - your fiery attitude and sarcasm seemed to compliment his personality pretty well. And god when you laughed, he felt like there was nothing bad in the world and he wanted to do everything in his power to make you laugh, hopefully brightening your day and definitely making his day better.
There was one thing that he was worried about though, which was you seemed to be injured as often as he was, and you definitely weren’t going to be open about in the same way he hated talking about his dad. What if your family life wasn’t great either? If that was the case, it’d be hard for either of you to heal in the way you wanted with reminders of other people hurting someone you loved.
Loved. He couldn’t believe he was already thinking about that when he barely knew you and was terrified of love and the thought that people wouldn’t love him back. But he’d be an idiot if he let this opportunity pass him by self sabotaging the relationship.
So, with a slight spring in his step at the thought of your date tomorrow, he walked to the chateau, keeping the image of you laughing at the front of his mind.
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